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My trip to a 4x4 dealer's to put gas-guzzlers out of action, and leave a statement of solidarity with the planet and against petrol-wastage.Last night, inspired by Greenpeace’s big parking ticket campaign for 4x4 gas-guzzlers, I decided to put some of these monsters out of action at source, in this case the Toyota showroom on Leeds Road, Huddersfield. Armed only with 2 tins of spraypaint and a pointed rock I did £2,400 worth of damage to 4 4x4 beasts in the forecourt (3 Rav4s and 1 Land Cruiser), spraying and scratching slogans like “4x4 More Oil More Warâ€Â, “Petrol is costing the Earth†and the simple, unauthorised “GREENPEACEâ€Â, in addition to putting a few dents in them. Since my last visit to the Leeds Road dealership arcade in July, security had been brought in, and as I made a casual getaway I was apprehended by police in 5 squad cars, who were very nice throughout my arrest and overnight detention, remarking “It’s not your job to put the world to rights.†I wish it wasn’t, because I am most amateurish, attempting to disable the CCTV after I had tackled the 4x4s, during which I had forgotten to pull my bandanna up over my nose. But whose job is it, then? Theirs? Actually I did think they were well cheeky to go and search my home while I was in the cells, before I'd even been charged. Apparently this is permitted under a Section 18, which covers anyone arrested? They said they were looking for more spraypaint, or for Greenpeace literature, and they didn't find any. I reckon they couldn't find the house. To apply further hindsight to self-criticise my direct action: I was on my own, I only had black spraypaint, which is ineffective against black vehicles, my slogans were a bit boring and obvious, I went over the top in being disarmingly honest in custody, owning up to a much bigger eco-terrorist spree earlier in the year, I should have started off at my main target - the Land Rover dealership which I never reached (Land Rover Discoveries do as little as 12 miles to the gallon in urban use whereas Toyota’s gas guzzlers are a bit less greedy), I should have taken photographs, I hadn’t considered who I would appoint as solicitor, I hadn’t checked with Greenpeace if I could use their name in my stunt, I hadn’t done enough planning to ensure my act of civil disobedience would reach a broader audience. On the positive side I only attacked vehicles still belonging to their producer rather than to private individuals (not that I would condemn this outright), I thoroughly charmed the police, I hadn’t been drinking or on drugs or used smutty language, and I proper cleaned up in the interview room. But mainly I did it, and it was fun. I am bailed with a 9pm curfew and a clause not to enter any garage forecourts until my trial for criminal damage on Wednesday morning, 28th September at Huddersfield magistrate's court. Come along if you fancy a laugh.
Later when I came home I found that my subscription to the Beano hadn't been delivered ontime, so I rang my newsagent and called him a ginormouse poopoo head.I then sat in my room and cracked open a bottle of australian wine to wash down my new zealand lamb whilst watching television infront of my electrical fire before planning my next holiday to the united states. Safe in the knowledge that I was causing no polution or carbon emmisions in doing so, unlike thost pesky 4x4s which produce tons of polution even when they're stood still, the Land Rover Discovery 3 apparently produces as little as 0 miles to the gallon when you put it on a rolling road and rev a lot.Never once did it occur to me to think for myself or actually realise that I had an equal impact in every other choice of my lfe as everyone else in this country does, nor did I realise that the energy used to produce my spray paint, take me to the police station, repair the damage that I did etc was needlessly expended simply because I'm a nieve imbecile.
Later when I came home
B***y vandals I say. "you like trees? well heres a piece of four by two.........."
Land Rover Discoveries do as little as 12 miles to the gallon in urban use