URGENT HELP REQUIRED !!!

[v8kenny]

Just cos I'm off today SWMBO has had me putting lights on the xmas tree and has now informed me that she needs me to go shopping with her this afternoon for a bloody turkey etc. - I haven't been in a supermarket for about 3 years - the places do my head in !
Can anyone think of a plausible excuse to get me out of this ! :?

[j99mud]

yeah just tell her that you were planning on going to get her a little something this afternoon on your own whilst she goes to the supermarket  should work if she thinks she will get something from it

[thermidorthelobster]

Find a late night one and go in the middle of the night.  It's less unpleasant.

Or, go to their website and just order the stuff online.  It's definitely worth a fiver for the delivery.

[Ja1983]

tell her the reason you dont go to supermarkets is down to a restraining order. and that you are not permitted to go within 30m of the frozen veg aisle :lol:

failing that plead insanity..

a long random rant about the king of the potatoe people and his troublesome gaul stones usually puts most people off spending any longer than 4 minutes in my presence  :D

[v8kenny]

She knows I'm insane !
The shops don't open late in this wee place
She already knows I have got her present
HELP !

[Ja1983]

nigel, keeper of the sacred penguin toes forbids it on pain of ear violation with an end terrace house! :?

simple, last minute oil change!

"it needed doing before the bad weather set in, didnt want to get caught out as were supposadly due a bad winter!"

...unless shes the sort who doesnt mind walking round with you dripping oil and mud everywhere?! (in which case your boogered!)  :lol:

[Horness]

Fall off the ladder while putting the lights up.

You'll get out of going shopping, she'll feel guilty for making you put the decorations up, you'll get pampered all over Christmas, and you can remind her every day that this would not have happened if she had not made you do it.

Guilt.  The ultimate power.

[v8kenny]

Oh there really must be a Santa ( or a god )
Just had a phone call from eldest son - He's gone and got his Landy stuck in the muddy woods near our house and can I go and winch him out  :D
Gave the wife the option of helping her with the shopping and leaving number one son to the mercy of the wolves/bears/goblins or going to rescue him - guess which one she chose ?...................................
After much wailing and gnashing of teeth muttering about how inconvenient and being a pain in the bum I'm away to get me boots,torch and winch gloves - told her it may take a while and best if I drop her off at shops and she can get a taxi back (snigger )
Must remember to buy that boy a pint

[gtomo2]

Right to help everyone out if we get phone numbers to members close by when then need "helping out of a little shopping trip etc" we can just phone them up with a emergancy that only they can sort.  :lol:

[Big-G]

If it is one of those supermarkets that sells cloths, walk up to the nearest dummy with lingerie on (no not shop assitant the plastic type) pull the knickers aside and shout at the top of your voice 'look love this one is shaved'! Gaurantee you wil never have to go shopping again......

 :twisted:

[gtomo2]

better still go to the supermarket and have your own trolley grand prix. i Always go trolley riding when i have to take the other half its great fun and relly passes the time away
 :lol:

[Jas278]

Tell her the Landy must not be left unattended at this time of year,   thiefs and all that, so it would be best 4 her togo alone...............BY TAXI :lol:

[Horness]

Right to help everyone out if we get phone numbers to members close by when then need "helping out of a little shopping trip etc" we can just phone them up with a emergancy that only they can sort.

The MUD-CLUB "Bail me out" Service.  :lol:

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the M-Team

[gtomo2]

Right to help everyone out if we get phone numbers to members close by when then need "helping out of a little shopping trip etc" we can just phone them up with a emergancy that only they can sort.

The MUD-CLUB "Bail me out" Service.  :lol:

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the M-Team

And all for the price of a phone call and beer( although the amount of beer depands upon the urgencey) :D

[NiceBlueWellies]

How about - just for a change - you all do your bit and help get things done/bought/organised for Christmas.  :twisted:

The world would be a much more pleasant place then.   :D

Think on - if your wife is miserable, then more than likely, you will be made miserable.  

[old joe]

my dear pink wellies

i already have done my bit see the link my sweet :D

http://forums.mud-club.com/viewtopic.php?t=15986&sid=0c36867ea00f089bc4181943ad585aad

 :twisted:

Dazza

[Xtremeteam]

Oh there really must be a Santa ( or a god )
Just had a phone call from eldest son - He's gone and got his Landy stuck in the muddy woods near our house and can I go and winch him out  :D
Gave the wife the option of helping her with the shopping and leaving number one son to the mercy of the wolves/bears/goblins or going to rescue him - guess which one she chose ?...................................
After much wailing and gnashing of teeth muttering about how inconvenient and being a pain in the bum I'm away to get me boots,torch and winch gloves - told her it may take a while and best if I drop her off at shops and she can get a taxi back (snigger )
Must remember to buy that boy a pint

last time i did that i couldnt stand the shame to phone my dad so got the gaffer to come n give us a pull out,although he did come n fill my 90 when it run out o fuel  :oops:

[TUFFTEE]

How about - just for a change - you all do your bit and help get things done/bought/organised for Christmas.  :twisted:

The world would be a much more pleasant place then.   :D

Think on - if your wife is miserable, then more than likely, you will be made miserable.  

Nah! Nah! Nah! (Shopping) :shock:  Grouch! grouch! :oops:

Mud! Mmmmmmmmmm?  :D  :D  :D

[v8kenny]

quick update
Took 20 mins tops to get the lad out and get home - took about another hour for the missus to get home :D
Of course told her we just got back 5 mins before her and it was a pig of a job to unstick number 1 son - so plenty of brownie points and no shopping - marvellous !
Really do owe that boy some beer

[NiceBlueWellies]

my dear pink wellies

i already have done my bit see the link my sweet :D

http://forums.mud-club.com/viewtopic.php?t=15986&sid=0c36867ea00f089bc4181943ad585aad

 :twisted:

Dazza

I'll be expecting my pressee next time I see you Daz :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:

[hingmy]

Think on - if your wife is miserable, then more than likely, you will be made miserable.  

Now that is true (wife or no wife). Maybe's just call off christmas so nobody gets stressed instead.
Instead of sitting around getting fat and drunk on boxing day, invent a new sport for all the family like...... 4x4 hide and seek: launch the offspring and his motor at a bombhole and run away and hide somewhere sensible like by the fire in the local pub

[Lostboy]

Hmmm,

I think there is a business opportunity here. Announcing "Escape Line" - a service where you secretly text us with your problem and the phone number of the person you wish us to extract you from. We can come up with any number of reasons why, for example:

"Hello, Is xyz there? This is the clinic. He urgently needs to come in for some more tests..."

[petergalileo]

Made this for you, hope it works.

Print it off and see  :lol:

[NiceBlueWellies]

Think on - if your wife is miserable, then more than likely, you will be made miserable.  

Now that is true (wife or no wife). Maybe's just call off christmas so nobody gets stressed instead.
Instead of sitting around getting fat and drunk on boxing day, invent a new sport for all the family like...... 4x4 hide and seek: launch the offspring and his motor at a bombhole and run away and hide somewhere sensible like by the fire in the local pub

See you in the pub then.    :D

[v8kenny]

Thanks Peter
The sign now has pride of place in the kitchen for any future forays to the shops
Cheers

[petergalileo]

Glad to be of assistance, I will keep my fingers crossed that it works.

[Karen696]

AYTENTION ALL BLOKES...  you only have yourselves to blame...

Look at Bob696.... leaves me to buy all the pressies for his family, jeez he should know em but no, he says 'its up to you, buy em whatever...'   yeah 'whatever' I struggle to decide what to buy my nearest and dearest., but hell, I am left to decide what to buy his as well

Good job women like the simpler things in life... like men

[datalas]

http://www.pvponline.com/archive/2005/pvp20051221.gif :D