Good fun!

[Sheddy]

Tonight, I've had two telesales calls. One for mortgages and one for mobile phones.

The mortgage chap i kept on the phone for around 40 mins by asking him all sorts of questions about the company he worked for, regulartry bodies, variable rates verses fixed rates mortgage types etc. etc.

The mobile chap I kept going for over 30 mins asking about megapixels, simbian platforms, Java compatibility, PTT connectivity etc.

The wife has gone out and I'm bored. Its the wrong night for them to phone me!

[Colin 009]

all you need now is for a Jahova witness to come calling and your evenings complete. :lol:  :lol:

[Homer]

I was fitting a wading kit to the Disco on Christmas Day (as you do) and the Jahova witness actually got me to come out from under the motor to ask if I wanted their pamphlet.

I will let you work out the rest of the coversation.

 :twisted:

[dew1911]

I was fitting a wading kit to the Disco on Christmas Day (as you do)

Oh yeah, many a Holy day I've wittled away fitting waiding kits to Land Rovers, who hasn't?  :lol:

I used to be able to keep callers on the line for over an hour, once it was 1h 30 when I stuck the phone infront a speaker and played a complation album!

[Damonski]

Another trick :)  They usually cannot hang up the phone from there end,  if its an auto-dial system, then basically all they have is a headset, it just calls numbers one after the other as soon as one is finished they get presented with another one.  The system detects when you have put the phone down, then hangs up the call.

So when one is on the phone, just leave the phone muted on the tabletop :)

[chuggaman]

i get almost 20 calls aweek from telesales and canvassers.as soon as they have finished the first paragraph in their script and wait for your reply.i say.............















sorry but your rehearsed script is boring me.remove me from your cold calling list.get a life and find a real career.

[Range Rover Blues]

Stick the 'phone in with the parrot.

"helloooo"

"what you doing"

"hello"

"are you being a b***er?"

"want a nut?"

"LIE DOWN, shut up and lie down"

and she laughs like Sid James


For those of you without a parrot try the telephone preferance sevice.  FDor UK based call centres it's one of the monitored performance criterion, as in if they upset people registered with the TPF they get fined :)

[deandb]

we used to be plagued by these calls for about two years. cracked me up because it was going from mid afternoon to late at night. eventaking telesales calls at the weekend!
got in touch with these nice people and it stopped within two weeks.
if we get a call now, we just tell them that we are registered with them and they hang up staight away.

http://mpsonline.org.uk/tps/

[strapping young lad]

i get these mobile phone companies who ive never heard of who seem to know my contract is due for renewal and try to keep me with orange..

so i got fed up and said im going elsewhere cos everywhere i go the signal is poo but other networks are fine..

answer

they have more masts than we do!

jesus

[muddyjames]

Another trick :)  They usually cannot hang up the phone from there end,  if its an auto-dial system, then basically all they have is a headset, it just calls numbers one after the other as soon as one is finished they get presented with another one.  The system detects when you have put the phone down, then hangs up the call.

So when one is on the phone, just leave the phone muted on the tabletop :)

But then the telesales person cant do any work and gets paid to sit there doing squat!

[muddyjames]

Tonight, I've had two telesales calls. One for mortgages and one for mobile phones.

The mortgage chap i kept on the phone for around 40 mins by asking him all sorts of questions about the company he worked for, regulartry bodies, variable rates verses fixed rates mortgage types etc. etc.

The mobile chap I kept going for over 30 mins asking about megapixels, simbian platforms, Java compatibility, PTT connectivity etc.

The wife has gone out and I'm bored. Its the wrong night for them to phone me!

You must be bored to spend over an hour talking to these people.

[Popeye]

we used to be plagued by these calls for about two years. cracked me up because it was going from mid afternoon to late at night. eventaking telesales calls at the weekend!
got in touch with these nice people and it stopped within two weeks.
if we get a call now, we just tell them that we are registered with them and they hang up staight away.

http://mpsonline.org.uk/tps/

Thanks deandb I've just signed up, hope it works, we must get 8 or more calls a day, I don't even answer my home phone anymore, I let the machine get it 1st but if I'm feeling good I'll pick up the phone and pretend that I can't hear them  :lol:

[wibble]

http://mpsonline.org.uk/tps/

signed up also.. hope it works

thanks

[muddyjames]

Ive signed up as well and also signed my mobiles up to it. lets hope it stops them all from phoning me with double glazing I dont want as i dont own the house!

[Wanderer]

Perfect,
If you don't own your own home let them go through all of the spiel and then ask if the landlord or the council will pay for it....

:lol:

[Sharpshooter]

I have a file on my desktop, with loads of pre recorded things from the simpsons, and star wars and such like.

I put the phone near the speaker, and play them at random. Like Homer burping and Darth Vader saying, Dont make me destroy you. Then i say, oops im sorry i have a bad throat or something. Has the kids in Hysterics.

[dew1911]

I have a file on my desktop, with loads of pre recorded things from the simpsons, and star wars and such like.

I put the phone near the speaker, and play them at random. Like Homer burping and Darth Vader saying, Dont make me destroy you. Then i say, oops im sorry i have a bad throat or something. Has the kids in Hysterics.

Damn where did you get them? I could use a few of those...

[Sharpshooter]

Alot of them are for mobile phones. I have just collected them over time.

Give it a go. Youll love it :)

[dew1911]

Could you send me some please? PM for E-mail addy. :D

[Evilgoat]

Hmm
I Just have the 'Would you like to play a game' from Wargames on my desktop, mmm, maybe next time...

What is REALLY Infuriating is I have a VOIP line tied to a Calgary number (* hours behind us) So its not unknown to get someone from the other side of the planet trying to sell me life insuance at 3am.

That said if I see a number I dont recognise on there its gets answered 'Southamptn 016....' and that tends to put em into shock alone.

[Wanderer]

Next time they ring log to this site and enjoy....

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/homer.swf

Ed

[Lostboy]

I have caller ID on the phone, so when it's a number I don't recognise I usually pick-up the phone and say:

"Hello, City Morgue."

to which the response is usually

"Hello, could I speak to Mr XYZ please."

and my response is

"Ummm, let me check... Hmmm. He can't really come to the phone right now. Have you got a medium?"

It takes some people a little while to figure it out... :twisted:

[Eeyore]

I have caller ID on the phone, so when it's a number I don't recognise I usually pick-up the phone and say:

"Hello, City Morgue."

to which the response is usually

"Hello, could I speak to Mr XYZ please."

and my response is

"Ummm, let me check... Hmmm. He can't really come to the phone right now. Have you got a medium?"

It takes some people a little while to figure it out... :twisted:

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Dude, get a mop!!

cheers
 8)
Eeyore