How much of a plonker am I?

[Benji]

Well, me and a few mates decided to go for a play last night on a huge shingle bank that has been formed from excavation at Soverign Harbour in E.Sussex.  We had been there before but recently they must have dumped loads more shingle onto it as the edges were much steeper.

My mate in his V8 Auto 200 managed to get up a semi-flat section after about 8 attempts but i just couldn't get up there!  He was giving his tons of stick and now that i use mine for my business i didn't really want to go mad so i had to give in (and i was gutted). I put it down to his auto gearbox giving him a quicker approach speed!!!!

Anyway on the way home there was a nasty metal on metal noise. Being mechanically inept i thought it was a half shaft as that seems to be the bit that most people talk about breaking, although on shingle there isn't any snatching once the wheels get traction like on other surfaces, so i wasn't convinced. And there was still drive with the diff lock off.

After crying myself to sleep that night thinking not only about the hefty bill that woould soon follow, but also that i might not have use of the car for a while (bank hol weekend), i was straight on the phone when the garage opened in the morning.

£400 just for a half shaft from Land Rover (cheaper from a factors) he said!  They would have to use a Land Rover part if i was in a rush as they carry them in stock.  I was gutted!

So i thought id get a second opinion from my mate at GA Commercials, a trailer and horse box dealer in E. Sussex and although he was busy getting ready for a show he's exibiting at over the weekend he said to bring it down so he could have a listen.

We traced it to the off side rear, so off came the wheel and a bloody massive rock dropped onto the floor!  It had got into the wheel through one of the holes in the outside of the alloy but couldn't drop out the otherside as the disc was in the way.  That was a huge relief and i could have kissed him!

I know where to check next time.

Can anyone beat that in the dim-what stacks???

Ben

[Bush Tucker Man]

Done that myself with a pebble rattling between the disc & stone-guard plate.
You hear the rattling & the pound-signs start flashing before your eyes

[nzrover]

Well....I'm a mechanic and get to see a bit of this sort of thing.  One Sunday morning I get called at home (which [person of questionable parentage] colleague gave out my home number?) - "My RRC won't go, I think the auto has given up.  It drove to the restaurant fine, then wouldn't move when I went to leave".  I had a smile to myself, told him that if I could have it driving within 30 seconds of getting in he would owe me a bottle of 30 year old Scotch.  Go out to the vehicle, take transfer lever out of neutral, lay claim to a bottle of whisky and return home.
Later the truth emerges - it was knocked into neutral by drunken activities of a sexual nature between said (very rich) plonker and his rather lovely wife.  I eventually got my bottle of Scotch, and haven't paid for a drink at my local  on a Friday night since as he seems to think I won't tell all his mates about it if he keeps supplying my alcohol.  Two years so far and counting (and everyone knows about it).

[thermidorthelobster]

I'm the opposite.  When I hear a nasty noise I hope it's a stone lodged somewhere.  It usually turns out to be something expensive.   :lol:

[dracula]

My car alarm would go off for no obvious reason.
Took panels off to get at alarm, pulled wires out, started on dash,
only to see an insect crawl over sensors in roof console!!!
Did I feel stupid or whay :oops:  :oops:
Paul.

[spy]

We had a bloke book his car in at work for a loud knocking over 60 mph.  I took it for a road test, sweet as a nut untill spot on 60mph.  Then it sounded like someone on a roof with a hammer!  Grabbed one of the lads to join me for another road test, we both agreed it sounded quite high up.  Got out scratching our heads and noticed the ornamental rugby ball thing on his aerial.  Rang him, asked when he had put it on.  "erm, the day before I noticed the knocking". 

He was embarassed to have brought it in, I was embarassed to have needed help to find the noise!  No charge sir, take that off of there.  :D 

 

[Steven]

 :lol: :lol: :lol: These stories are good, keep them coming in guys...

[BeJay]

Many moons ago, (you can tell how many by the fact that this happened with a Humber Super Snipe :D) we had a guy come int the garage complaining that the motor just died when he floored it to overtake etc but otherwise would run perfectly OK, anyway after checking the usual plugs points condensor carbs fuel lines coil etc, and not finding anything, and being unable to produce the same effect in the workshop but it still doing it on roadtest someone noticed that as the bonnet was dropped a piece of the sound deadening material fixed to the underside of the bonnet was not pegged properly and was drooping as the bonnet was closed, of course when the motor wasn't being revved hard it wasn't a problem but as soon as you floored the throttle it sucked the material straight onto the end of the air intake effectivly cutting off the air supply. I'm not sure the foreman ever did tell the guy what it actually was in the end 'cos we spent so long on it before anyone noticed what it really was :oops: :oops: :lol:

[lee celtic]

I took he wifes vectra for a service at a mates garage years ago when we got it back there was an anoying rattle from the back end it went on for weeks .Every weekend I would walk next to the car while the wife drove slowly and eventually I narowed it down to the nearside rear wheel. So I jacked it up and took off the wheel and checked everything was tight and it was ,put it all back together still rattleing  then I desided to strip the suspention bits to see if anything was broke only to find an old core plug had been placed inside the spring and was bouncing around the spring seat My MATE had popped it in for a laugh bar-stuward he thought we'd spot it in seconds :roll: :lol: :lol:

[muddyjames]

Last year I bent my steering arm and took me ages to remove it and the damper to get a new one on. I was in a rush as I was going away in my caravan the next day.

Next day came and I thought I would check the beerings as I have heard horror stories. Wheel was a bit wobbly so I tightened it up. Towed the caravan the 40minutes to the site with tracking way out. made an interesting tow! Got to the site and put the window down to talk to my mate who had already arrived and heard a clonking noise. only happened under breaking and about 5mph.

I had a look at the props and they were fine. 6 MONTHS later after alot of driving and wondering what the now normal clonking was I found it by pure accident. I was pumping my tyres up and saw a bolt sticking out the hub. 1 bolt has been sheered off in the past and a dummy bolt is pushed in held by silicone. So I kicked it back in. it wouldnt. it turned out to be I hadnt done the hub nuts up tight enough before going to the camp site in the rain. 1 bolt was about 1.5inches out (must have been on last thread) and the others were all loose as well. since then, no clonking. scary story too.

But I have plenty of these stories as I am pants at mechanics but like to have a go.