Cold Callers #+%$&~#

[Colin 009]

Why do these idiots do this job


Its dark outside I've turned the porch lights off, the hall lights off, if your standing directly in front of my front door you might just see a light on in the front room. oh the doors (two) are locked.

Then the doorbells go (two) I ignored the first two rings hopping they'd go away,  :roll:  no such luck so after unlocking two doors four locks I'm met by hello I'm from Tele 2... thats as far as he got as I told him go away and mulitply  :twisted:

I'll be buying a big dog tomorrow and tying it up outside the front door unfed :twisted:

The same thing happened last week with an idiot from an electic company I phoned them and complained that time  

Rant over "have a nice day"

[hobbit]

fit an intercom, saves on the leg work

[Colin 009]

Trouble with that is most of the callers dont speak English round here.

[hobbit]

A picture speaks a thousand words, and languages   :lol:  :lol:

Or a notice in multiple languages, "if you are selling not interested"

Kev

[Colin 009]

yer a picture of a big dog eating a person

[Bob696]

I find them entertaining  :twisted:

"Are you the home owner sir?"
"No"
"Is it rented?"
"No"
"Are you responsible for electric/gas/upkeep/windows?"
"No"
"Is the homeowner available?"
"No"
<wait silently and patiantly whilst they try and figure out where the script went wrong (recored so far with a bit of humming is just under 90 secs)>
"I'll call back at a more conveniant time then"
"No"

Very entertaining when it is peeing down  :twisted:

[Colin 009]

Oh if its raining I say hold on I'll just get the owner and just leave them outside waiting

[beattiedh]

1) Get a front door that opens outwards. Mine does and when i go to get the door it take a bit of a shove and the never seems to be anybody there. Very odd.

2) As follows
"Is the homeowner in?"
"Yes, you wait there and i'll go and get them"
Then go back in and carry on what you were doing. Very good inrain or snow.

Works on the phone even better.
"Hello is Mrs/Mr xxx there please?"
"Hang i'll just get them"
then leave the phone on the side occasionally going back and saying "they are just coming" or "won't be a mo" but going away again before the can answer. They normally go away after about 5 mins and don't call again.

Dunc (33 going on 12)

[Colin 009]

Ah the door opening outward ploy :-k  very clever

[diesel_boy]

i had one from 3moblie phone from india  i said that i dont want one thay said ok  2days later  the fone went 3moblie want a fone ok yes tell me about it then !! as i swiched on the radio then gave them a bit of radio1 for 30mins thay neaver rang back    :lol:  

[SHERMAN TANK]

Can't we just attach two crocadile clips to there Bol*%£ks and plug them in.............. :twisted: it would be great fun. :D

DAVE.........................

Will be trying the phone trick i think, sounds good :lol:  :lol:

[Vam]

Husband used to work with a guy who - lets just say you wouldn't really want to mess with him.

His prefered method of dealing with salesmen/religous types was to invite them in, ask if the wanted tea or coffee, and come back from the kitchen stark naked, sit down and try to start conversation.

Never saw the same guys twice and word soon got round :twisted:  

Vam

[Wanderer]

We have consecutive telephone numbers. It's quite interesting when they ring on the second number after having got grief off me on the first one.

I absolutely detest cold calling with a vengence.

Ed

[muddyweb]

I can highly recommend registering with the following organisations :

http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/tps/

http://www.tpsonline.org.uk/mpsr/


We did a couple of years back and within a few months, the amount of junk mail and cold phone calls reduced dramatically.

Doesn't stop the door-to-door annoyance, but then we live up a hill, with no streetlighting, half a mile away from a small village in the middle of rural Dorset.....   don't get too many passing callers ;-)

[Wanderer]

I'll agree with that Tim. Ours virtually stopped dead about a month later. It's very rare we get bothered any more.
Other than legitimate stuff that I still don't welcome from people like the bank trying to sell me insurance wrapped up as reviewing my account.

Ed

[V8MoneyPit]

Yes. These are worth using. They do work really well. We still get the odd call at home, but not too bad.

The next time we get a call offering conservatories, I am tempted to let them send a rep out....... and see how much they quote for an upstairs flat!

[Wanderer]

Wicked!!!!

I'd thought about sticking two phones together if they rang on seperate lines. SO that they could seel each others wares to each other.

Another answer might be.... I'll just go and get my dad and sit the phone under a cushion.

Ed

[SteveH]

Phone calls usually get passed to my daughter, she giggles and screams etc until they go away ;)

[Colin 009]

Thanks for the info Tim.

[ian_s]

when i lived with a few mates at uni we had regular cold callers at the door, so one of my mates spent hours thinking up lines to give them. i think my favourite was:
"sorry, i dont live here, i'm just stealing the TV"

ian

[Colin 009]

Ian_s wrote:

    "sorry, i dont live here, i'm just stealing the TV"
 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[V8MoneyPit]

:lol: Now, I like that one... must remember it for next time.

I friend's brother was at Bible college for many years and some of his learning was picked up by my friend. On one occasion when I was visiting, a Jehovahs Witness called. Andy was stood there for 3/4 hour quoting the Bible at them... they were feverishly flicking through to be able to come up with answers!

[pritch]

I friend's brother was at Bible college for many years and some of his learning was picked up by my friend. On one occasion when I was visiting, a Jehovahs Witness called. Andy was stood there for 3/4 hour quoting the Bible at them... they were feverishly flicking through to be able to come up with answers!

I used to live with a Pagan witch for a while.

That was amusing if he answered the door to Jehovahs Witnesses.  He'd stand there for 15-20 seconds, silently grinning and then just say "I'm a witch!"

[Range Rover Blues]

Cold callers? anyone want a tape recording of my dogs?

I got sick of the 'phone calls too so was very pleased when Julie suggested to telephone preference service.  Now I'm regestered it's a rap on their knuckles if they call me by mistake from the cube-farm!

One downside though, I wanted Cold-Seal to ring one last time:

"yes, I'm thinking of replacing the back door, the one I have is s**t, leaks water, won't shut properly, hinges sagged, peice of c**p really."

when they ask me where it came from I can say "you fitted it".

They've already stopped calling at the door......

[m0awb]

Trouble with that is most of the callers dont speak English round here.

Fit a CCTV system, they understand sign language :)

[keithdixon]

A friend of mine who is blind told some religious people knocking at her door that she was not interested in anything which did not come with a brail leaflet.

4 wks later the Johova's Witness returned with a bible in brail  (Nearly 20+ very large books) in addition they brought round a set of tapes with the bible in spoken words.

Now she cannot get rid of them.

I think ii will stick with NO, Go away!

[m0awb]

I think ii will stick with NO, Go away!

Or words to that effect :)

My ex neighbour, a really  tasty looker was married to a junkie. We got on fine. Too much loud music or noise at two in the morning or any other anti social crap from him was easily controled with the offer of a slap.

She devorced him, got involved with a JW and married him. She turned all goody, goody. No Christmas. no birthdays and no meat. Kids were not allowed to play or associate with "Normal" children and she got really depressed and used to confide in my wife.

The offer of a slap didn't seem too appropriate as he never did anything to upset me... Think I prefered the Junkie :!:

[gordonkerr]

I have always thought it slightly ironic that you can register with the mps and prevent the sending of junk mail through the post but there is apparently no way that the Post Office can be persuaded that you do not wish to recieve the junk mail delivered door to door by their postmen.

Has anyone found a way of stopping them delivering this rubbish?

[hobbit]

Try a different door knocker!  

[keithdixon]

I always found that a carfully trained dog stopped even the post men from knocking at the door.

The common expression of "Oh, no it's ok, i'll leave it" used to be said when i answered the door.

Other comments such as "does your dog bite" spring to mind (what are you going to say when some Pr**k wants to sell you double glazing)

"Yes he does"

On a slightly diferent note, if a supermarket were to advertise that they take out all the crud from newspapers before putting them on display would we not be more willing to go out of our way to purchase them there?

Or just do what i do and pick them up, give them a shake and leave all the crud behind