whose made a total prat of themselves then lets have a laugh

[Highlander1]

When I was a young 17yr old and used to drive my fathers Hillman estate.

I got a girfriend and went on a date with mothers Allegro! 1975 model.

Took this nice lass off to the pictures and then onto the harbour for a nice innocent snog by the pier.

Bottle of champers and 2 paper cups in the glove box nice.

 When starting the bl***Y car I stuck it in forward rather than reverse and as a young 17 yr old tried to show off with the swift reverse action only agro was along an up for 1st not reverse like Hillman. front wheels made it over the side of harbour wall.

Got pulled back onto 4 wheels and on way home dashboard fell off she had to hold it up while I drove her home never saw her again.

Come on time to have a laugh at ourselves.

Own up if yer brave enough. :lol:

[dazliss]

Can't quite match that but I remember going to Burton dasset when I was about 19 and watching all these 4x4's going up and down the hills and thinking huh, I can do that in my fiesta!

All went well till I climbed up a steep one and as the front wheels went over the hill the car grounded on its floor. The car sat there like a see-saw till a couple of my mates rocked it back and forth  :oops:

[jjsaul]

took on some chav in a saxo on the ring road...completely balls'd up a sharp bend and managed a full 360' with the old RR cos it was rather slippy and wet...didn't hit anything though lol :D

saw same person recently when i was in my 4.6 tho and got revenge off the lights  :twisted:

[Highlander1]

\:D/  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

brilliant I'll put another more risque on when I've had a few.

[Highlander1]

While I was out in the retreat fixing a model plane I decided to pay a wee visit to the forum and by the time I got back tothe retreat I realised I'd glued the thing to the table.

 :lol:

[wrecker]

i went to a local boy racer meet around my way when i had a normall car and only been driving for a week or so,

i was standing there waching these guys doing burnouts and hand breake turns and thought i could do that just as good,

so turned up,got on the line,hand breake up,revs up dump the cluch and the tyres bit,broke the hand break cable,shot accross the car park and into a trolly park :oops:  :oops:  :oops:

and yes,wrote off my car,and trolly park and had to pay for it too :oops:
it cost £1250 for one of those,o and got a big telling off from mum and dad when they found out :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

mark

[johnpirate]

How many do you want !!.I was taxi driving one night picked up a regular passenger who had a bit of a thing for me.Took her towards Hartshead Pike.For those not local a well known courting area.Pulled over to the side of a country lane.Put the passenger seat down made my move and the car slid sideways into a drainage ditch.I had no chance of getting it out radioed for assistance.Was asked what happened. "I was aiming for a hole missed and found a lot bigger hole !!."Got a lift back of my mate he took the mickey all the way.The day after we went up to recover the car a Post office van had tried to get round and slid into the ditch on the other side.We got mine out set off in time to see a very angry Postie :lol: .We didnt hang around to chat.Although the farmer had been on the phone to the taxi firm and the boss was on his way to have a look when I sneeked out the end of the lane.

[Highlander1]

:(biglaugh):

You just reminded me of my mate coming round to my garage years ago with his metro.

He'd been out with his grilfriend to a quiet spot when she put her feet on the windscreen and his windscren popped out.

Didn't shatter I spent the afternoon putting it back in wetting my self laughing every so often. :lol:

[ken110]

My dad got a brand new 200tdi defender when they first came out, me and my brother were playing with it in the fields when we decided to race the tractor and defender... defender won hands down. but as my brother slowed for a tight gate, i realised I was still doing 30 in a 5ton lump with baldy tyres.  ploughed into the back of the landy and managed to push it through a dry stone wall. dad wasn't amused :oops:  :oops:

[bilge rat]

kool,
 drove a ford transit when i was about 9 then a cortina , thought i could drive, so reversed me mums triumph vittesse up the drive. it got the better of me as i passed me mum while she was talking to a neighbour. luckily the wall at the top of the drive stopped me. oops. cheers alan.....

[Highlander1]

I'm sure there must be more that 9 of us out of 280 who have had a laugh

Chickens :roll:  :lol:

[simdeb]

i haven't done anything with cars but when i was around 10 me and my cousin decided on a sunny day to take our umbrellas and 'sneak' chocolate through the bars at the back of the counter at the local shop, put the bars inside the umbrella and then go out side and eat the chocalte!!!!    we never got caught but if my mum had found out well!!!

debbie

i have had a really good laugh at these

[Highlander1]

i haven't done anything with cars but when i was around 10 me and my cousin decided on a sunny day to take our umbrellas and 'sneak' chocolate through the bars at the back of the counter at the local shop, put the bars inside the umbrella and then go out side and eat the chocalte!!!!    we never got caught but if my mum had found out well!!!

debbie

i have had a really good laugh at these

You now need to change your nick name to sindeb :lol:

[snezza69]

Like many folks of a certain age, my first car was a Mini (Old one for the younger members)!  I remember I used to drive quite aggressively in it (age related I think).  This thing stuck like glue.  Well it did until the rain came.  There was a tight bend which I liked to tackle quite fast, and this time in the wet I haddnt realised just how smooth the surface was anyway!  So thinking nothing of it I took the bend too fast as the rear end lost grip and began to turn the car, at this point I saw a rather big (anything was bigger than a mini then!) vehicle coming towards me.  I have to admit I expected a collision and probably braced my self for it with my eyes closed.   The mini was in a total spin now and had gone past a 360, and still spinning when I realised we must have missed each other.  The mini ended up going backwards down the road.  Once I got out I saw my lane was only about as wide as the mini was long.  It taught me a big lesson and I still count my blessings even now.  It does remind me that as youths we do stupid stuff and consequences dont come into it, as long as lessons are learnt.

I was shaken and very embarrassed at the time!

[TDi90]

and consequences dont come into it,

er, yes they do,: the absolute obcene amount of money us young responsible LR drivers have to pay for insurance, because of (insert whatever rude and offensive word you want here) chavvs drving vauxhall novas and the such like.
R

[combatjohnny]

when i was about 18 went for a drive in the snow never done it before.
I was going down a steep slope and the car started to turn(skid) I braked  I managed to get it stuck tight front bumper against the bank and the back against a dry stone wall, and this lane was a single lane Lucky no cars were about and it was midnight so i took the drystone wall down so i could get a turn. I never told anybody and scarpered. the next day went pasted and saw the farmer rebuilding it. But kepted stum.

[burgerman]

Made my own electric extension lead one day (  along time ago ) and fitted two male 3 pin plugs to it  :shock:    But then plugged it in and fired up the juice (still blissfully unaware of my mistake)  Untill i picked up the other end by the plug  #-o   Suddenly dawned on me what i had done then  :lol:  :lol:

[TDi90]

Made my own electric extension lead one day (  along time ago ) and fitted two male 3 pin plugs to it  :shock:    But then plugged it in and fired up the juice (still blissfully unaware of my mistake)  Untill i picked up the other end by the plug  #-o   Suddenly dawned on me what i had done then  :lol:  :lol:

haha very good"!!!

[richo]

I once took my girlfrind on the back of my zzr600 to the coast for a bag of chips.Parked up and locked the bike up with a big chain and lock had my chips walked back to the bike and found that i had left the key 75 miles away at home.Still we are now married and have our first child on the way so maybe she did like me and not the bike.

[burgerman]

And another one one the theme of lost keys, Me and the wifey went to a clay shoot approx 120 miles away, so locked the guns in the safe bolted to the boot floor, Anyhow we got there had a cuppa signed on , payed the entrance fee, went back to the car to get ready, then found out we had left the safe keys in the kitchen @ home  ](*,)

   No shooting that day for us then :(

    The positive of this tale is we now keep the keys on the same keyring :roll:

[POTASH]

years ago i went camping, got the tent out of the car, and realised id left all the poles at home, mrs wasent to pleased :oops:  :smack:

[Ja1983]

went shopping when i was with the psychotic ex.. sadistic wench took me to the trafford centre (when we lived in halifax... so few miles off) naturally i got out the fourtrak, slipped the disclock on, locked up and went inside... then came out, unlocked, went to take the disclock off, only to find a significant lack of key..

luckily i had a toolkit with me!

bear in mind this is the trafford centre in manchester, very busy, and parked close to the entrance...

in went the big screwdriver.. the hammer had its turn, and after half an hour no luck... phoned my dad who (very reluctantley) brought the key!

....no security guards, no police, no-one even glaring at me beating a steering lock off mid-afternoon!!

..fourtrak overheaded on the way back aswell....

....she was a bliming jinx that woman!  :lol:

[simdeb]

our first camping event with a 10ft caravan we forgot

toilet
kettle
matches
water bottles

i think the only thing we did take was our clothes not good considering it was at estnor castle!!!!!

[Welshbreed]

going back a bit to cars, my mate who just passed his test (last year), had gotten in his car, turned on the radio, seatbelt etc, anyway he took off from outside his house, (he lives on a hill), nearing the bottom he was suddenly presented with a big lorry starting coming up the hill, so he goes to pull in behind a car, when he realises he can't steer, sweating like a peodophile in toysrus he then realised he hadn't even turned on his engine. needless to say he slammed the clutch down, turned the key, slowed, and pulled in behind a parked car, and unfortunately lived.

So the moral is; "just 'cos ur radio is on, don't mean yer engine is".

yes i know the moral is principly the same as "the lghts are on but no one's home"

[dazzawhipple]

Not mine but close to me

I know some who went through Mcdonalds ordered a large order but then was asked to wind the window down....she stayed and run through the order again..... :lol:

[Evilgoat]

I got into a fight withe the Audi's traction control. Early morning and I was heading out to work, had just been raining. Was heded towards the big roundabout on the cliffs in Brighton as you come away from the Marine to Peacehaven. Nothing on the roundabout, no cars except behind me so I didnt slow, as I started to turn I felt the car backing off the power folleewed by an ESP light and ABS light on the dash. Thinking it was being over sensitive I stomped on the power to shut it up.

2 360 flat spins, halfway through the car gave up and the fuel cut-out kicked in and during this a load of traffic had apeared. Mercifully I missed everything but ended up facing the wrong way on a busy roundabout with the car sat there bleeping at me as if to say 'Told you so'.

Got to work and was told when I go home to watch out for the deisel spill on said roundabout
D'oh!

Few weeks later I almost got taken out by my store manager doing the same thing while I was in the car next to her.

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

When I was based at Great Yarmouth, I used to be crewed on nights with a very attractive WPC.
One night we got a call to a burglary in progress at the local 'Adult Interest and Art Film Emporium'.
As it was a short distance from the Nick to the afore mentioned 'Swedish Book Shop', we went for the sneaky quiet approach, which proved to be the best method, for as soon as we got there, we could hear the sound of a break in coming from the back of the shop.
My colleague started to climb the wall, but me being the everso gallant gent, offered so as to avoid any embarresment for the lady, who was wearing a skirt (stop it, you pervies!).
So without further ado, I braced myself against the wall, got a foothold, and took the strain. As I lifted myself up, there was an ominous splitting sound, and I felt a cool breeze drifting where I didn't necessarily want one. :roll:
My very attractive colleague then said "Nice red boxers Jon, I bet they match your face".  :oops:  
Not good!!! We did catch 'billy burglar' with his hands on some stolen 'goods', but it was rather embarresing going back into the Custody area, with my arse hanging out the back of my uniform trousers! Thank God the craze of 'Going Commando' hadn't hit yet.

[Highlander1]

LSP  on the trouser note I had to answer a call to an elderly person one day who had not collected papers and milk from his door step for a couple of days I saw a window open one of these wee ones above the Hooooge ones at the front of the house me being a slim Jim in those days!!!!! I climbed up and got the crotch of me trousers caught on the wee window stay thingy that holds the window opening arm thingy.

I ripped the trousers from seam to seam  as I got wedged in the frame. Iwas left hanging by the crotch till the seam gave way and shredded me trousers from one knee to the other.

Oh how embarrassed I was when the Ambulance crew arrived to take the poor old soul to hospital.

I then got another call and declined to respond if another car could go.

The Inspector demanded I get to his office immediately to explain why I had said on the radio that I wasn't in full uniform so couldn't attend When Walked into his office with my shredded trousers.
 
He couldn't help but P**s himself laughing.

[freelanderpx54]

When I was still married to the exwife I was shopping in Tescos with her and my daughter. Ex was looking for tights and daughter wanted to help asking what size? Ex said XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL which was met with a quizzical look off said daughter.

Ex then said 60" hips. As daughter was doing measurements at school and didn't understand inches asked how big 60" was. My somewhat flippant reply was add 2 inches and it is the same size as your mum.


Now for the best bit, in true childlike form, daughter announced to the whole shop "Mum, do you realise that you are nearly as wide as you are tall?"

I laughed so much I had tears streaming down my face. Needless to say I got more cold shoulder than I knew what to do with but it was worth it :)

[ben_haynes]

Just a few small ones

when i first past my test i was nearing the end of a resoration on a landy, once it was done my dad got its MOT and TAX for me, i insured it, first day driving i took it for a long run so i could get used to it, got to a round about, forgetting it had no SERVO and no PAS had to swerve round a car and narrowly avoiding a HGV heading straight over the roundabout taking out 2 signs in the process (no damage)

same landy coming off A14 about a year after doing around 60 - 70 MPH pushed the brake pedal it hit the deck so i pumped it still nout had to runn straight over the junction and round a que of cars on the Fly over :oops:

had a Metro and took a nice gal to the local courting area and thought it was a bit crowded sowend a bit further down the lane, done what i needed to do, started car put it in gear pulled away only to find i was stuck, it had sunk to over half way up the wheels, had to get out and push :oops:

had disco, whilst doing some green laning i came out of one lane went down the road about a mile and the was a sharp right turn,slightly damp mud on tyres spun and slid on to grass at side of road put disco on 2 wheels clipped a stone wall and it put it back on four wheels

had a VW polo had a slow puncture (kept putting air in :lol: )  was fine when i started journey went about 3 miles came to a series of S bends, where tyre went down fully coming off rim spun me round and dug the rim in to the ground and flipped me on to my side had to push it back over and try getting the spare out (sub and amp bigger than the boot  :lol: )

My mate had a Moped we tuned up, he was showing off to a few gals up the street, then opened the gate to go into his garden, reved it up a bit slipped off the ped popped a wheelee and got it wedged between the house and the drain pipe  :lol:  :lol: