silly questions !!!

[waterrover]

does anyone at work repeatedly get asked the same stupid questions that drive them mad ? i drill holes in the ground for geo-environmental purposes and am constantly asked " struck oil yet ?" like its the first time i have heard it,  i swear i will kill again :)

[gtomo2]

You didnt drill so holes in redbank in measham a few weeks again did you. Oh and did you hit water  :lol:




I will get me coat :roll:

[waterrover]

not guilty this time  :oops:

[land-def-90]

im a plasterer and wish i had a pound for every time a customer says i bet your good at icing cakes... recon i could afford one of those fancy new defenders if they had

[waterrover]

thank god im not the only one  :lol:

[gtomo2]

I used to drive a truck that had redbank wrote allover it and had a jacket etc that said redbank. and people still used to ask me what firm or what am i delivering when i pulled up at drops  :twisted:

[Evilgoat]

Yes, same thing day in day out, god I hate tech support work.

I really wish I could say RTFM looser!

Americans are the worst:

Me: Have you checked that you can ping your system?
Them: Okay
Me: Did you ping your system?
Them: Okay

at which point I feel the desire to just scream at them 'Its a goddam yes or no question, it really isnt that hard to answer!'

[shaun and co]

always getting "does it hurt?"

[BigSi]

Electricians also get asked daft questions;

“Hope you know what wire does what!”

Changing a domestic consumer unit, all cables sticking out of the wall (obviously not attached to anything!), customer says,” I want to put the kettle on!” This is after telling them that ALL the power will be off for a few hours!!!

 :roll:  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:

[barmiebrumie]

When assessing a damaged vehicle the favorite one is
        ''while youv'e got the paint in the gun''


yeah yeah we'll repaint the rest of your car for free then shall we ?:twisted:  :twisted:

[edy]

sparkeys also get, just as you have touched the wire, the coustomer will make a "buzz" noise. ye like that makes me think i have been electricuted  :roll:

[simdeb]

we have four boys and on taking our  3rd son out very pleased (as i had a very difficult 5 months ) i got greeted 'i bet your very disappointed its another boy' while they were looking over the pram won't say what i replied my mum said it wasn't called for!!

i never say 'i bet you wanted a girl' it really gets my goat

debbie

[666]

does anyone at work repeatedly get asked the same stupid questions that drive them mad ? i drill holes in the ground for geo-environmental purposes and am constantly asked " struck oil yet ?" like its the first time i have heard it,  i swear i will kill again :)

Funny you should say that! I was second man on a Dando 150 quite a few years ago (and still got all me fingers) and yes, all the time we had the same stupid question, "have you struck oil yet?" Now i work as a draughtsman for a steel fabricators, and when we issue drawings for approval by architects our MD always says "is that what they want??" to wich we reply, you priced it you tell me! :shock:

Cheers

Mark

[strapping young lad]

not sure if this is the same but it irritates the bejesus out of me

i did my cycle ride to paris last month, 6 weeks ago in fact

and i STILL get people asking "have you recovered yet"

...

i sometimes say no, after the crash and the loss of an arm im still coming to terms with it...

[corrosiverob]

buzz words at work always pee me off...

shoot from the hip, hit the ground running, but the best is................


going for a Mc sh*te

I think thats when you use Mcdonalds toilets and dont buy anything!

bloody salesmen!

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

The stupid questions I get asked usually fall into 2 categories; On or Off Duty

On Duty
1) Q:Why aren't you out catching murderers, rapists, terrorists?
    A: Because I am dealing with a cretin like you!

2) Q: Haven't you got anything better to do?
    A: No not really. I was bored, so I just thought I would annoy you by catching you speeding.

3) Q: Why is the road closed?
    A: There has been a serious accident
    Q: Can I get through there, I need to get to the shops.
    A: Hang on sir, I'll just ask the injured person to glue themselves back together again, move their wrecked car and I'll then horsewhip them as they dared to block your way.

4) Q:Does your head go all the way to the top of that helmet?
    A: yes it does actually. I had my cranium increased to have a large brain installed to be able to deal with the large amount of cretinous questions I get asked.

5) Q:Where's your sense of humour?
    A: At the end of this baton. If you look closely, you can just see it (tap tap on the forehead) There it is!

6) Q: Don't you know who I am?
    A: No, thats why I stopped you, because I really wanted to find out who you are, so we could be pen pals!

Off Duty

1) Q: My 'friend' got done for speeding/mobile phone/ no seat belt. What can they do?
    A:(Looking person straight in the eye) Tell your idiotic, no brainer of a 'friend' to stick to the rules

2) Q: Do you take your handcuffs home at the weekend?
    A: Yes, they go quite well with my gimp mask, although I find the leather does tend to chaffe a bit. Do you have the same problem?


This list is by now means the full lot, but you are probably bored by now. I would like to point out, that these answers are not the first line of response, as that would be unprofessional and dis-courteous. They are usually used after a bad day and after having been asked the same question several times in a row.

As they say in America, "Have a nice day, y'all"

[BigSi]

sparkeys also get, just as you have touched the wire, the coustomer will make a "buzz" noise. ye like that makes me think i have been electricuted  :roll:

Forgot that one!!!!!  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:

[strapping young lad]

i get asked this a lot when i tell them where i work...

so do you get to see the car ads before the rest of us?   err noo

go on put on a car for me for owt!  err no

[Boggert]

LSP you crease me up.... :lol: PMSL :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

My colleague has dared me to talk to the next punter we run into lika a piarate!
Just haven't got the courage yet!

My Std answer to "Haven't you got anything better to do?"

Is "Yes, which is why I'm so annoyed in having to deal with you so don't push it"

[edy]

sparkeys also get, just as you have touched the wire, the coustomer will make a "buzz" noise. ye like that makes me think i have been electricuted  :roll:

Forgot that one!!!!!  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:  :roll:

and the "hope you no what your doing"

to wich you reply "well funny you mention that" or "yeh you better hope" :roll:

and always get a coustomer watching your every move, "so what that wire do then" to wich you reply "thats the live feed" then your thinking to yourself- if you dont shut up, i will shove it down your throat and turn the thing on!  :twisted:   :roll:

and the kettle one wich you said that happens quite a lot you always get asked if you want a cuppa just as you have turned the electric of  :roll:  :roll:

i no there is many more wich im shure you heard all of the a million times :roll:

[Skibum346]

5) Q:Where's your sense of humour?
    A: At the end of this baton. If you look closely, you can just see it (tap tap on the forehead) There it is!

Love it... reminds me of the old army fable...

RSM is inspecting troops.. places pace stick on chest of a soldier and screams at him... "soldier there is a piece of sh... on the end of my stick!"

Soldier responds.... "Well it's not on my end sir"   :shock:

Needless to say there was some very quick "deft, dight"ing* going on shortly thereafter!

*For those that don't get it... normal marching pace is something like 70 paces to the minute... but if you get "jailed" it's 120 paces to the minute... and "deft, dight" is what "left, right" turn into at the hands of a drill Sgt

[Mareng]

Not so much stupid questions, but some can get riite annoying sometimes..

"why does the army need boats"

and

"Why do you wear Navy uniform when your in the army"

are two of the most frequent, I get fed up with answering them, especially when we are alongside Poole harbour and every other person asks the same question.

The best one, by a mile, is

"what does A-R-M-Y stand for???"

Then of course there is the standard "have you ever shot anyone" or "what do you think of the war in Iraq"

[edy]

we was always told never to ask anyone in the army if they have shot anyone.

[TDi90]

LSP, make me ROAR!
god thats funny!
 i love it! tell me more!
R

[Manicminer]

I went to one of the local garages today to see if I could squeeze my car in for an MOT.
Walked up to the mechanic and opened up the conversation with "Are you busy?" the instant reply was "Yea, it's where I work"

[BrumLee]

As a truck mechanic I get drivers coming up saying "You'll never guess what's wrong with my motor now". I'm amazed how good they are at reading my mind  :roll:

[gtomo2]

As a truck mechanic I get drivers coming up saying "You'll never guess what's wrong with my motor now". I'm amazed how good they are at reading my mind  :roll:

As a truck driver i resent that remark  As i normaly say "I broke something". Had to laugh when the machinc said sorry mate we dont stock "something" i will have to order it for you.  :lol:

[Dirty Gertie]

When I was an Anatomical Pathology Tech, one of the stupid questions I was regularly asked was "do you have to see dead people?" sadly it was prior to the fillum 6th sense, cos of course, the answer now would be "I see dead people, all the time......."

[gtomo2]

Back to army days. When i used to command a cvr"t" sabre. A member of the public came up to me when we were parked up in a town centre getting some supplies  from the wine store and asked "how did you get that here" to which my reply was " i got the driver to drive it here". And a good one i got asked was when i was in bovvy doing a gunner course with cvr"w" fox the gunner instructor (god) asked as he had never seen a fox aromured car before what the doors were on the side (hint they are side bins for sotoring stuff in) We told him thay were escape pods for the turret crew they deploy from the fox and have there own power sorce and can speed up to 40 mph etc had him going for a couple of days on that one.

[JumboBeef]

I used to work as a TV cameraman, often working with big cameras and lenses at big sporting events.

I forgot how times I was asked 'is this going to be on telly then....?'

No mate, it's for the radio.... :roll: