AuthorTopic: Being a Police Officer in the Uk  (Read 4521 times)

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Offline Lord Shagg-Pyle

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Being a Police Officer in the Uk
« on: September 11, 2007, 19:25:44 »
Very frightening when you consider that this is not far from the truth. Being a Police officer in the UK
 Question:

 How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer ,
 And an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?

 Answer:

 Pose the following question:

 You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
 children.
 Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the
 corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife,
and charges.
 
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.


 What do you do?

 UK POLICE OFFICERS Answer :


 Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
 Does the man look poor or oppressed?

 Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

 Could we run away?

 What does my wife think?

 What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
 his hand?

 What does the law say about this situation?

 Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

 Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
 this send to society and to my children?

 Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

 Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
 wound me?

 If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
 while he was stabbing me?

 Should I call 1-1-1?

 Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint
 and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would
 discourage such behaviour.
 

 If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, Do I get blamed when he
 falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself? .

 If I shoot him, and lose the court case, does he have the opportunity
 to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family
 home?


 AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS Answer:

 BANG!




 AMERICAN OFFICERS Answer:


 BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!


 click....(sounds of reloading)

 BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!


BANG!

click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"





Now before anyone starts on about likely to cause offence, lack of respect etc etc, it was sent by a Brit Police Officer to another Brit Police Officer, and is, I would suggest, a tongue in cheek bit of humour at differing attitudes.

It also made me laugh :twisted:

att

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« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2007, 19:30:07 »
We were once the strongest empire in the World.......The brit answer should be........I am sorry, the question that you ask is so 'out there' that we do not know how to answer it.......But due to the British disease of greed and selfishness and looking after ones mates, we need to answer it, the answer due to the PC rubbish and the racist probability is a difficult one, which by that time you are brown bread...... :roll:

Offline Lord Shagg-Pyle

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« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2007, 19:43:00 »
Quote from: "att"
We were once the strongest empire in the World.......The brit answer should be........I am sorry, the question that you ask is so 'out there' that we do not know how to answer it.......But due to the British disease of greed and selfishness and looking after ones mates, we need to answer it, the answer due to the PC rubbish and the racist probability is a difficult one, which by that time you are brown bread...... :roll:



Er, you lost me there matey :?

marjan

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« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2007, 19:47:07 »
Yep, lost me too :?  :?  :?

att

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« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2007, 19:53:41 »
Sorry guys.......I guess I am saying that we were once wealthy enough as a nation to ensure that the whole of society had a fair chance, we could have been so much better than what we are now, we were given the chances and the finances, but the money was used by the selfish rich to ensure that the peasants remained peasants......Simple really...And when we began to run out of our own peasants we imported others from the four corners of the globe.......

Offline Tiki Al

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« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2007, 19:56:46 »
Quote from: "att"
We were once the strongest empire in the World.......The brit answer should be........I am sorry, the question that you ask is so 'out there' that we do not know how to answer it.......But due to the British disease of greed and selfishness and looking after ones mates, we need to answer it, the answer due to the PC rubbish and the racist probability is a difficult one, which by that time you are brown bread...... :roll:


 BANG !!!

Offline Lord Shagg-Pyle

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« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2007, 20:01:08 »
Quote from: "att"
Sorry guys.......I guess I am saying that we were once wealthy enough as a nation to ensure that the whole of society had a fair chance, we could have been so much better than what we are now, we were given the chances and the finances, but the money was used by the selfish rich to ensure that the peasants remained peasants......Simple really...And when we began to run out of our own peasants we imported others from the four corners of the globe.......


How far back did the importation start? I blame the Romans.

Offline Jake

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« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2007, 20:02:57 »
att
What are you on about now?
 :?
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Offline P16LET

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« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2007, 20:05:38 »
How far back did the importation start? I blame the Romans.[/quote]

Were the Vikings before or after?...  :shock:  :?
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Offline Lord Shagg-Pyle

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« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2007, 20:14:17 »
Quote from: "P16LET"
How far back did the importation start? I blame the Romans.


Were the Vikings before or after?...  :shock:  :?[/quote]

After, I think. But they didn't shoot anybody, nor did the Romans. They just got drunk alot and had orgies. Which was nice.

Offline P16LET

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« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2007, 20:16:10 »
Ahhhh...so true...but they did have Archers (...and not the kind you have over ice  :wink: )
Sheep are like Landies - always looking for new and more interesting ways to die

Drift

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« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2007, 20:20:37 »
Hmmm Aussie policeman Hampshire, that sounds familiar  :wink:

Silvery Thing

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« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2007, 20:47:35 »
Quote from: "Tiki Al"
Quote from: "att"
We were once the strongest empire in the World.......The brit answer should be........I am sorry, the question that you ask is so 'out there' that we do not know how to answer it.......But due to the British disease of greed and selfishness and looking after ones mates, we need to answer it, the answer due to the PC rubbish and the racist probability is a difficult one, which by that time you are brown bread...... :roll:


 BANG !!!

Tiki.... Can I borrow your gun so that I can shoot too :wink:  :D

Offline P16LET

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« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2007, 20:56:11 »
Would that be for the purposes of humane high speed lead injection for the benefit of the forum?....If yes, I have a whole arsenal you could borrow!  :wink:
Sheep are like Landies - always looking for new and more interesting ways to die

Offline hobbit

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« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2007, 20:59:42 »
More tazers :twisted:
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Offline Biodiesel-Bev

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« Reply #15 on: September 11, 2007, 21:01:01 »
I think they missed the bit where the Brit PC gives the man the telephone number of his local anger management meeting, details of a nice social worker, and then gives him his collar number just in case the man with the knife wants to make a complaint about him!!!    :roll:
.


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www.greenworldbiodiesel.co.uk ~ enqs@greenworldbiodiesel.co.uk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"The use of vegetable oils for engine fuels may seem insignificant today.  But such oils may become, in the course of time, as important as petroleum and the coal tar products of the present day."  - Rudolph Diesel (1858-1913)

...

Offline Lord Shagg-Pyle

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« Reply #16 on: September 11, 2007, 21:45:51 »
Quote from: "biodiesel-queen"
I think they missed the bit where the Brit PC gives the man the telephone number of his local anger management meeting, details of a nice social worker, and then gives him his collar number just in case the man with the knife wants to make a complaint about him!!!    :roll:


Is that before or after the Peace Circle manouver has been carried out?

Offline Biodiesel-Bev

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« Reply #17 on: September 11, 2007, 21:52:12 »
Quote from: "Lord Shagg-Pyle"
Quote from: "biodiesel-queen"
I think they missed the bit where the Brit PC gives the man the telephone number of his local anger management meeting, details of a nice social worker, and then gives him his collar number just in case the man with the knife wants to make a complaint about him!!!    :roll:


Is that before or after the Peace Circle manouver has been carried out?


'Peace Circle Manouver'?  That's a new one on me, don't need these fancy techniques whilst lurking in the background and driving fast cars.   :tongue:
.


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*******    Greenworld Biodiesel Ltd, Brook Mill, Carr Lane, Slaithwaite, Huddersfield HD7 5BQ     *******

www.greenworldbiodiesel.co.uk ~ enqs@greenworldbiodiesel.co.uk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"The use of vegetable oils for engine fuels may seem insignificant today.  But such oils may become, in the course of time, as important as petroleum and the coal tar products of the present day."  - Rudolph Diesel (1858-1913)

...

Offline Lord Shagg-Pyle

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« Reply #18 on: September 11, 2007, 21:59:24 »
Quote from: "biodiesel-queen"
Quote from: "Lord Shagg-Pyle"
Quote from: "biodiesel-queen"
I think they missed the bit where the Brit PC gives the man the telephone number of his local anger management meeting, details of a nice social worker, and then gives him his collar number just in case the man with the knife wants to make a complaint about him!!!    :roll:


Is that before or after the Peace Circle manouver has been carried out?


'Peace Circle Manouver'?  That's a new one on me, don't need these fancy techniques whilst lurking in the background and driving fast cars.   :tongue:


Its in the Manual of Guidance. What you do is get everybody round in circle and discuss your innermost feelings while hugging dafodils. If nothing else, it makes the opposition wet themselves laughing, then when they are incapacitated, you hit them with big bunches of lillies, then handcuff them with organically grown hemp rope cable ties, which are useful as you can 'recycle' them afterwards, apparently, if you know what I mean, not that I've ever done that sort of thing! :shock:

Offline Biodiesel-Bev

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« Reply #19 on: September 11, 2007, 22:19:23 »
Manual of Guidance!  Stop using that filthy language near me!  I'm more on a par with the old school of thinking, all this Fairness in Action drivle, Blah!  Flog them with birches, bring back the stocks and send them into National Service,  Crikey, I sound like my dad!!

What's with the scarey avatar LSP, and you've gone all poetic on us.   :shock:
.


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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


"The use of vegetable oils for engine fuels may seem insignificant today.  But such oils may become, in the course of time, as important as petroleum and the coal tar products of the present day."  - Rudolph Diesel (1858-1913)

...

Offline Lord Shagg-Pyle

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« Reply #20 on: September 11, 2007, 22:38:16 »
Quote from: "biodiesel-queen"
Manual of Guidance!  Stop using that filthy language near me!  I'm more on a par with the old school of thinking, all this Fairness in Action drivle, Blah!  Flog them with birches, bring back the stocks and send them into National Service,  Crikey, I sound like my dad!!

What's with the scarey avatar LSP, and you've gone all poetic on us.   :shock:


 It is a 'homage' to my Old County, namely 'Black Shuck' the Hell Hound of Norfolk.
This link explains all:
http://norfolkcoast.co.uk/myths/ml_blackshuck.htm
The Darkness also wrote a song about him.

Guardian.

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« Reply #21 on: September 12, 2007, 10:59:09 »
i say arm the old bill with as much ammo a they can carry, and if they feel the need to shoot, let them.
let me have ago of running the place for a month, i can guarantee there will be very little crime after said period.
the only question is how petty a crime do we come down to before we dont shoot.
im sic of watching all the telly programs with british coppers running around after idiots, if they had nice guns they could open the car window and just drop them. problem sorted, idiot gone!

Offline datalas

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« Reply #22 on: September 12, 2007, 11:39:18 »
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6990144.stm

is an interesting concept and not entirely unrelated to this one...
--


Offline Wanderer

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« Reply #23 on: September 12, 2007, 12:11:14 »
What makes me laugh (well cry really) is the derisory sentences being dished out.

I thought it was illegal to run from a copper. Resisting arrest? Evading capture? I dunno but why isn't there an instant penalty for pegging it down the road from the Police?

I certainly never have anything to hide so it wouldn't bother me. It seems we pander to the criminal too much. If you're not up to no good what's the point in legging it.

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Offline L90OOK

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Re: Being a Police Officer in the Uk
« Reply #24 on: September 12, 2007, 13:03:55 »
Quote from: "Lord Shagg-Pyle"
Very frightening when you consider that this is not far from the truth. Being a Police officer in the UK
 Question:

 How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer ,
 And an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?

 Answer:

 Pose the following question:

 You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
 children.
 Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the
 corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife,
and charges.
 
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.


 What do you do?

 UK POLICE OFFICERS Answer :


Double tap...better to be tried by 12 than carried by 6  :roll:

Also bring back public hanging & national service  :twisted:
Did everyone see that?  Because I will NOT be doing it again!

 

Offline BrumLee

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Re: Being a Police Officer in the Uk
« Reply #25 on: September 12, 2007, 15:06:31 »
Quote from: "Lord Shagg-Pyle"
What do you do?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
 this send to society and to my children?


The kids would say "why you messin' about pops, gimme the pistol and let me put a cap in his ass. We know how to, we learnt about shooting in the playground"  :shock:

I remember watching one of those America 'Cops' programs where a guy had shot a burglar in his house and was apologizing to the cop saying "I didn't mean to kill him, I just wanted to scare him", the cop said "if you didn't invite him in your house it's his own fault, don't worry you did good and it's one less crook we need to worry about".

Over here you'd be hand-cuffed, paraded out in front of your neighbours, questioned for hours at the police station, held on remand and then a court case facing murder. Where's the justice?
Lee from Brum

Offline Niel

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Re: Being a Police Officer in the Uk
« Reply #26 on: September 12, 2007, 15:30:34 »
Quote from: "L90OOK"


Double tap...better to be tried by 12 than carried by  :roll:

Also bring back public hanging & national service  :twisted:


Double tap? Thats what gets people killed, as the SO19 guys found out in the Police comp. they shot in the US, every double in centre of mass no problem, but marked as failed/killed by assailant. Then they watched the US cop's go through, body body HEAD, treat all assailants as high on PCP/angel dust, if the first 2 don't stop them, head shot 'em!

Still doesn't stop them shooting each other though, Gatwick, Winchester and lord knows how many other times....

Offline Skibum346

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« Reply #27 on: September 12, 2007, 16:45:47 »
Quote from: "Guardian."
The only question is how petty a crime do we come down to before we dont shoot.


I reckon Judge Dredd had the balance about right....   8)  :lol:

Offline Bulli

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« Reply #28 on: September 12, 2007, 17:36:21 »
thats assuming he meant body shots the SAS shoot double taps for the mouth...they stop most things but i understand you have to be a heck of a marksman.

i think its sad that the police face possible prosecution for doing their job! its ridiculous!
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Offline Eeyore

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« Reply #29 on: September 12, 2007, 18:06:41 »
Oh lordy, it's going to be 'cat/pigeon interface scenario'

Oookay, my view is that we give the police guns all the time. Not because of fear of crime, but because everytime we let 'em have guns at the moment they seem to get a little bit excitable and 'accidents' happen. Yeah, okay, it's a gross generalisation, but bear with me a mo.

'Accidents' can include a guy carrying a chair leg in a carrier-bag getting shot. Or an electrician getting gunned down, point black, on the tube. Niether of these guys had commited a capital offense, yet by their misunderstanding of the situation they both end up dead. And that's not right.  Miscomprehension isn't a crime.

So, in some respects, yes, the inncoent do have something to fear. If I get wrongfully arrested, at the moment I walk away with a sound apology and a wad of cash. If I get wrongly jobbed, then I walk nowhere. An apology ain't a lot of use to me when I'm six foot down.

If we give more of our serving officers guns - is the sense of responsibility going to improve, or will I get jobbed one day for mishearing a shouted command?*

I don't think it's wrong that anyone should avoid prosecution for actions leading to the loss of life. Whether they're found guily afterwards, well, thats a different question.

cheers
 8)
Eeyore

*FWIW and being serious for a mo, after a settling-in period I think the novelty of having a firearm will wear off and our boys in blue will be stable with the additional responsibilty. The question then comes if whether having a gun will make them more of a target? As long as I get a sensible answer to the responsibility question, I think I'm cool with the concept.  :wink:
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