Is everyone prepared for Halloween?

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

This 'tradition' amuses me. Yet another import from across the Pond, which has been taken on by the Brits.
Why is it for 364 days of the year, children are warned about going to strangers houses, then one night (although now, more often a week) hordes of kids with 'scream' masks come to the front doors, demanding cash or sweets that will make them go hyperactive?
Before I am accused of being a 'miserable old fart', bear this in mind. Lots of the old folks get worried about people calling at their houses in darkness, and then to be faced with a load of teenagers generally scares the pants off them.
It is also the lack of imagination. If, per chance, when asked for a 'trick or treat', you say 'Trick, all that happens is a lot of confused looks between the pimply yobs at best. At worst, abuse and arson attempts, tend to follow.
Bearing all this in mind, I am not one of the fraternity that believe that celebrating the ancient 'night of the dead' will necessarily lead to the downfall of Christianity and all the 'Yoof' suddenly turning to Lucifer and all his spiky little demons for spiritual guidance.
So, what is the solution?
I have had several ideas this year, just in case they visit my house.
1) Lightly baking lumps of pony poop,and offering them out as toffee.
2) Baked lumps of horse poop (slightly larger than pony effluent) with lolly sticks will make ideal 'toffee apples'.
3) Buying a large cupped fishing catapult, to enable longer range firing of horse poop at any 'little darling' who decides it is good fun to try to egg my house.
4) Buckets of horse wee, strategically placed over the porch, in the style of Medieavel boiling oil, although not boiling of course!
5) Bags of canine effluent to be handed out as 'modelling clay'.

As you can see, I've been recycling biodegradeable products, which I think is very ethical of me.
Unfortunately, Her Ladyship drew the line at trenches with bamboo stakes at the bottom, trip wires, claymore mines and a brace of .50 cal heavy machine guns at the bedroom window :(
No fun, some people.

[karlo]

Just feed them lots of blue smarties & high sugar drinks and let them go home to their parents  :twisted:

[thermidorthelobster]

At Christmas we also get burly gangs of youths singing "We wish you a merry Christmas" and thrusting their pudgy hands at us.  SWMBO hit upon the idea of only rewarding them if they can sing the second verse.

The problem with the pony poo oriented treats is that they know where you live;  but you don't know where they live.  It's basically a big protection racket, no more, no less.

My mother used to either go out on Halloween or lock herself in the house with the lights turned off.  I'm tempted to ignore any callers, but I won't, because I know I'll have a knock at some point from the little kids up the road I vaguely know, who will have a parent hovering in the gloom over the road to ensure their safety, and I don't want to look like a miserable git!

[sleeplessparadise]

We are ready, the curtains will be shut tight and the volume kept down on the tv............ so we aren't actually home if they ring the door bell  :D

[gtomo2]

I love halloween. normally do the house up a bit cobwebs, ghost hanging around etc. As the estate we live on has a lot of young children on. And found out the local children enjoy coming to our house. I was going to dress up as the grim reaper and sit on a chair in the hall way with a bowl of sweets in front of me and everytime a kid goes for a sweet i was going to move or make a grab for there hand. But this year i will be out and about somewere in my truck. So if you see a eddie stobart wagon parked up at some lights and look at the drive don't worry if you see a hooded head with a grim reaper mask looking back at you.

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

The problem with the pony poo oriented treats is that they know where you live;  but you don't know where they live.  It's basically a big protection racket, no more, no less.

Hmm, that is indeed a problem. Best I stick with option 3, and get a pre-emptive strike in first, from the safety of the bushes at the end of the road!
"He who sows the wind, shall reap the whirlwind!"  Arthur 'Bomber' Harris

[Bush Tucker Man]

We are ready, the curtains will be shut tight and the volume kept down on the tv............ so we aren't actually home if they ring the door bell  :D

My sentiments exactly


I used to put a sign on the side (& front) gates, stating No Trick Or Treaters Please, 'Toddler' In Bed!

Used to work as well :D

Sadly, last year I couldn't escape from the 'sheer joy' of it all.


Thankfully, it hasn't been mentioned for this year

[Guardian.]

NOT BEING A TOWNIE IS ACE, MY DRIVE OFF A BACK ROAD IS 2 MILES LONG SO WE DO NOT GET VERY MANY VISITORS :D
AND IF WE DID!
NO ONE WOULD KNOW WHERE THEY WENT ANYWAY :twisted:

[James.Harwood]

Give them an apple, it will take them all year to work out what to do with it.

GSD primed already  :twisted:

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

Give them an apple, it will take them all year to work out what to do with it.

GSD primed already  :twisted:

I can imagine it.
"Ere, wot is dis fing dat dis geezer as given me and me posse?"
"Ifink it is one of dem fings dat u iz sopposed to eat lots of, innit?"
"Wot, like, KFC or Maccy D's?"
"Nah man, it groes on dem tree fings"
"Wot, like my giro and housing benefit and stuff?"
"Yeah, but it is natrel like"
"Wot like my bird's blonde hair?"
"Yeah, but you as got to eat it, encha geez?"



I could go on, but no doubt you are all bored. I'm off to prepare the poo slingshot, and sort out the angles for my field of fire.

[TDi90]

haha. i might just come over and see if it works  :lol:

[sleeplessparadise]

We did see a rather fantastic site last night driving through Batley. We were leaving Tesco and saw a hearse....... the back was illuminated with something like an ultra violet light and we realised that the coffin was covered with cobwebs and I am sure there was a skeleton in there, maybe preparing for halloween???

[Bush Tucker Man]

We did see a rather fantastic site last night driving through Batley. We were leaving Tesco and saw a hearse.....

No!, isn't it 'Goth Week' in Whitby soon??

They're getting ready for their holidays??

Ie; taking the (Addams) family away


'L S-P'
That literal conversation between 'da yoof' is spot-on!


Why, oh, why can't you start a Blog like PC Copperfield???



Helen, We've got to get 'L S-P' introduced to 'Drew' (5292), I reckon there'd a meeting of identical minds there!!!!!!!!!
Imagine the conversations :(scared):

[sleeplessparadise]

No!, isn't it 'Goth Week' in Whitby soon??

You could be right Richard, Dannii did mention some things going on  :?

Helen, We've got to get 'L S-P' introduced to 'Drew' (5292), I reckon there'd a meeting of identical minds there!!!!!!!!!
Imagine the conversations :(scared):

I don't know if my brain could cope with such a meeting of the minds  :lol:

[Bush Tucker Man]

No!, isn't it 'Goth Week' in Whitby soon??

You could be right Richard, Dannii did mention some things going on  :?

It was mentioned on Stuart Maconie yesterday, but can't remember the dates

Helen, We've got to get 'L S-P' introduced to 'Drew' (5292), I reckon there'd a meeting of identical minds there!!!!!!!!!
Imagine the conversations :(scared):

I don't know if my brain could cope with such a meeting of the minds  :lol:

It'd be fun for a while, till our brains melted

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

[/quote]


Why, oh, why can't you start a Blog like PC Copperfield???



:[/quote]

Unfortunately, my options are limited due to length of service. Namely, I have my pension to think of, and Canada would not be viable due to this fitness thing.
It is tempting though, apart from the fact that the Home Office wouldn't like it after the last one, and I would be made to 'drop off the radar', if you see what I mean. :shock:

[jjsaul]

at our university halls we've organised a big party starting at the bar here (which we're decorating up) and getting everyone to come in costume, then to one of the clubs in town...

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

Thats how it should be, silly games for youngsters and daft parties for the older ones, not scaring the crap out of old folk by groups of juveniles.

[Boggert]

I'm working again... Last year we took the PSU van out (riot Van) its amazing how many kids you can get in the cage in the back :twisted:

[Evilgoat]

Hmm

Padlock on the front gate (6' high and you need to pass it to get in)
Load saffy up on e-numbers, red bull etc

Jobs a goodun.

Oh must go into botley tomorrow and get some more BB pellets and paintballs.

I could take the airhorns off the audi and with some cunning wiring, attach them at head height behind the fence wired to the doorbell.

'Trick or... (presses the doorbell) <SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP>...'Toilet roll'

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

Hmm


I could take the airhorns off the audi and with some cunning wiring, attach them at head height behind the fence wired to the doorbell.

'Trick or... (presses the doorbell) <SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP>...'Toilet roll'

I like it! :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted: