Stupid things I've done when working on a car...

[Welshbreed]

Well, we've all been there, figured a quick easy job would result in a quick payday / bit of amusement. But I was wondering if anyone else has their stories of stupidity. Knowing you lot, there should be a few.

Here's two to start off with.

1> When working on my Series 3 back in Wales, body removed, standing on the chassis, tools on fuel tank, and vehicle jacked up/ supported with wheels in the air. I then decided to remove the steering wheel. I forgot the amount of force often required to remove wheel from arm, and so while standing on a the cross member behind the seatbox and the fuel tank outrigger, I yanked on the wheel, freeing it... and my balance. Now in the few seconds as I though how to fix this, honestly my initial thought was "dont stand on the fuel tank, you dont want to pick up 50+ sockets nor danger your impact driver" and so I looked/fell backward and resorted to catch myself from falling onto the exhaust/axle by first moving my left foot onto the chassis main rail before starting to fall sideways, so I moved my right foot straight onto the rear wheel... which as I mentioned was in the air, of course the wheel just span and so I was launched sideways off the vehicle into a 8ft fence. cut my hand a little bit, but my friend found it amusing. #LearningCurve.

The second one was much simpler. While fitting a new drive belt to a hatchback (which was jacked up and supported with axle stands), and being used to working with 2 post ramps, I went to look under the vehicle, and so was laying on the floor, and while adjusting my head position, forgot I was on the floor and basically headbutt the concrete below me, with such force I made myself feel sick a little bit. #WhereWasThePPE?

okay so their not brilliant stories, but I'm hardly a linguistic artist... and i'm just that damn good, that mistakes are hardly made!

So what are your war stories?

[lambert]

Whilst servicing the terios I managed to  push a finger nail back. That was Friday, my finger is still throbbing and occasionally still bleeding.



Owweee.

[Saffy]

17 years old and doing engine swap on a mini. Decided to remove engine complete with gearbox, gearbox remote, front subframe - suspension and wheels all attached. This more involves unbolting body shell and lifting body off engine. Got the job done and the engine is there in the subframe on wheels looking like a wheelbarrow trailer ..... so I thought I just move it to where I wanted it. The wheels turned in on themselves (no steering rod attached) and whole thing flipped over onto the deck causing the gearbox remote (the gearstick part) to do an arc through the air and give me an upper cut punch to the chin with the proportions of a heavy weight boxer .  Stars I did see.

[Welshbreed]

17 years old and doing engine swap on a mini. Decided to remove engine complete with gearbox, gearbox remote, front subframe - suspension and wheels all attached. This more involves unbolting body shell and lifting body off engine. Got the job done and the engine is there in the subframe on wheels looking like a wheelbarrow trailer ..... so I thought I just move it to where I wanted it. The wheels turned in on themselves (no steering rod attached) and whole thing flipped over onto the deck causing the gearbox remote (the gearstick part) to do an arc through the air and give me an upper cut punch to the chin with the proportions of a heavy weight boxer .  Stars I did see.

That's an epic fail. Something I could see me doing on a bad day, will have to remember this story lol
And yeah, fingernail backwards. "oweeeeee" indeed, I feel for ya fella

I'm sure there's more to come however...

[Landy1uk]

The usual really smacked head when moving about under the series, the stab when the screw driver slipswhen you are holding the screw. nothing exciting yet so to say lol

[BigBlueBeast]

Left a Discovery on a set of cheap halfrauds axle stands, went in for a coffee, came out to find the discovery on the hubs (discs being changed!) and a couple of kids running away! Safe to say the axle stands were a little crushed! I then went out and bout a 6tonne set of stands! Lesson learnt, never make your own coffee when working!

[denviks]

found a a damp oil patch under the front of my disco.....( i know i know , but it was anew patch in a different place ) ...so i climbed under to investigate it....while crawling on my back i went low enough to avoid that big heavy steering guard......as i went under it i brushed my nose ( gently ) on the guard which made me move my head back fast for some daft reason.... under my head was tarmac with a stone in just the right place to apply max preasure to the rear of my head

you can guess what came next.,....


a rapid move forwards away from the pain at the back of my head ....only to be confronted with a new pain in my nose. the steering gaurd hit the bridge of my nose in a big way....

and yes just for good measure i pulled my head back down again to hit the stone under my head once again.....

thats where i stopped and got out with tears in my eyes and bloody nose. i didnt go near the disco again that day 

[LandRoger]

 You stupid boy Pike!!!           

 Hi Den Long time no see hope alls good for you and yours, Dodger,

[Welshbreed]

I'll be fair, if you picture the stuff we've done as we read it, it is rather funny. I been laughing a lot during this thread so far...

We're all a bunch of idiots , and it's humbling to know you are to 

[piggysteve]

Lying under the 110 fitting a silencer in the rain, dropped the thing on my head, ouch lots of swearing.
Carrying on wondering why I was getting wet while under the truck, oops ear hanging off. My hysterically
laughing Mrs had to steri strip the thing back on so I could finish the job so we could drive to A&E.

[Saffy]

Another one from back in the day when I was 17. My mate who I was knocking around with did this... so I'm not the fool this time. He did an oil change at my gaff and ended up putting about 2 litres too much oil in - but decided to test drive the car to see if too much oil mattered or not 
Few miles away he definitely decided it did matter and his mother was going to kill him if anything happened to her Fiat. So he pulled into a layby and was going to let 'some' oil out  .... scolded himself on the gush of hot oil, dropped the sump plug into a drain along with all the rest of engine oil 

[Welshbreed]

 

[lee celtic]

Daftest one I've done was when I was using a high lift to break the bead on a tyre. I had the tyre under the jack and the jack hooked under the tow hitch on the disco. I jacked it up and sat waiting for the bead to break. I was looking to see if it moved and the handle dropped bounced off the pins as the weight of the car shifted and the handle hit me in the side of the head three times rapidly.. I saw little tweety birds and stars ... and for the sensitive I swore a bit..lol 

I laugh now remembering how the first hit caught me off guard then as I tried to figure out what hit me it hit again then as I went to grab the black blur that was heading my way again I missed and wham. I got it just before the fourth hit. (thank god) I had a lump on the side of my head and a black bruise running through my ear(that hurt) and a dent in the arm of my glasses.

Moral of the story ,, an anti rattle clip on a highlift handle should be used to secure the handle when not in use and when it is..lol

I have a mate who was working on a boat in the middle of a field, he fell head first through the hatch and got himself wedged between the hull and the engine while upside down. He was there for almost 24 hours before he swung his legs enough to break a few ribs and free himself..

[James.Harwood]

Took the engine out a Series once without a engine lift or any other mechanical lifting device....

[Saffy]

reminds me that my dad used to take engines out with a couple of neighbours - straps, lifting bars and muscle.

[Suvvey]

reminds me that my dad used to take engines out with a couple of neighbours - straps, lifting bars and muscle.

I did that last year after being roped in to help my Sister's now ex boyfriend. Only a little Peugeot 106 engine but still a pain to lift out with a couple of short scaffold poles and strops. Especially when it is only as you are bent over taking the weight on your back and with no way of dropping it back in without causing damage, that you realise the stumpy, vertically challenged hobbit your Sister has let 'fix' her car isn't actually tall enough to complete the manouvre!!!

[Welshbreed]

Recently, I did manage to acquire an abused Opel Vectra B with EcoTec engine in college and having reconnected the lights, air box and hoses, cooling system and some vacuum pipes, re-tapped and connected the exhaust system, topped up on coolant and oil, checked HT leads connected and pulled one of the HT leads to check there were spark plugs. Had my friend turn the engine over, didn't start, my tutor comes over to investigate, on second turn of the key, HT leads come flying out of top of the engine with a thunderous bang, making me and my tutor basically hit the deck, possibly both of us with a new load in our trousers.

Turned out someone had removed 2 of the 4 spark plugs and didn't bother replacing them. Lesson learned, check ALL spark plugs there, not just the one.

[brixworth-alan]

To free off a stuck handbrake shoe on my old astra years ago, my dad recommended this technique: Jack up the right rear corner, take the wheel off and whang the brake drum with the tyre iron until "a clunk, scrunching or otherwise noise" was heard and then I'd be able to achieve forward motion.

He forgot to tell me to chock the front wheel if doing this on a slope, so of course when I jacked the right rear tyre off the deck I achieved forwards motion a bit earlier than expected...

Cue the old joke about brakes failing....

"Did you lose your fluid?"
"Yeah, wouldn't You?"