Mud-club

Chat & Social => The Bar - General Chat => Topic started by: Topple on January 11, 2005, 17:50:18

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Topple on January 11, 2005, 17:50:18

* When you occasionally find rust flakes in your ears.
* If you keep these strange Imperial-thread bolts in your pocket in case the dashboard falls off.
* If WD40 has a higher priority on the household budget than milk.
* When your husband starts referring to you as "my ex-", although you are still married.
* If your bathtub bears a sign: "Not suitable for engine blocks".
* When you dream of burned Lucas electrics when your wife smokes a cigarette in bed
* If even Essex girls turn you down after they`ve seen your car.
* If 10 lbs of of prime top soil fall on the tarmac when you smack your door shut
* If you store K&N air filter cleaning liquid under the kitchen sink because you need it so often
* When you drive in shorts in the flemish winter to avoid wet jeans.
* If nobody parks next to you on a Saturday supermarket parking lot
* If only the African immigrants greet you in town
* If your kitchen table shows marks of engine blocks.
* When you can't find any clothes without battery acid holes or engine oil stains
* If you wonder why it smells so funny if you throw a cig butt on the floor of a rental car
* If you start every conversation in the vehicle with "one, two, test" to check the intercom
* When even Russians don't believe your truck is only 20 years old
* When there are more tools in the truck than in your house
* If you think it's essential to carry 20 litres of water at all times, even in Belgium
* If the only two shops you know in town are the parts dealer and the tool shop
* When you decide on weekend plans in bed and the alternatives are grease-up or fix the radiator
* If you buy rear mirrors in bulk at the farmer's union shop
* When the GPS in your vehicle has the main purpose to replace the speedo and odometer
* When you are surprised that the M.O.T. mentions the condition of your seats in the report
* If you wonder why the moss in your truck's inner window sills is greener than your lawn
* When you are used to switch off headlights before indicating right because they interfere
* If all your jacket pockets and belt loops are torn by LR door locks
* When you find a gas evaporator between salt and pepper in the kitchen
* When a Russian women observes 'these are not women's hands' and someone adds 'just don't ask her what she has been repairing this time...'
* When your friends steal imperial sockets for you as a wedding present

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Xtremeteam on January 11, 2005, 17:54:56

Quote

* If you start every conversation in the vehicle with "one, two, test" to check the intercom

When have u been in my motor??????? :shock:  :shock:

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: lee celtic on January 11, 2005, 20:29:01

When the bed side draw is full of interior plastics and screws found on the floor of the car ie. all the caps and covers from the seat belt mounts and surrounds from switches that seem to come loose when you shut the door.
 :?
Or when you can make up an excuse for the new rattle or clank that the misses hears instantly .And it convinces her that it's not serious and cheap to fix. :twisted:

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Bush Tucker Man on January 11, 2005, 20:48:41

Your wallet's perpetually empty :D

20kg Swarfega tubs are used as flower-pots, waste-bins &  for oil-changes

When Castrol offers you a lifetime loyalty bonus

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Dirty Gertie on January 11, 2005, 21:03:02

When everything you own is covered in mud,
When you have to clean the car inside before you go anywhere remotely 'posh'
When you have no free time, cos you're either playing in it or fixing it!!


I LOVE IT!!!! :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Xtremeteam on January 11, 2005, 22:45:59

Quote

* If you keep these strange Imperial-thread bolts in your pocket in case the dashboard falls off.

Whats wrong with that? hopefully ill pick up enough bits & build a motor for free  :lol:

Quote

Or when you can make up an excuse for the new rattle or clank that the misses hears instantly .And it convinces her that it's not serious and cheap to fix.

I feel good knowing that im not the only 1 who does that  :lol:

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Dangermouse on January 12, 2005, 01:02:47

When you keep the degreeser in the shower  :?





DM  :)

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: lee celtic on January 12, 2005, 08:11:38

V8 redline wrote

Quote

I feel good knowing that im not the only 1 who does that

spare wheels come loose  luv  :roll:  :wink:  :twisted:

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Whitelandyman90 on January 12, 2005, 11:03:09

When your friends detail the car park height restrictions on their wedding invitation  :lol:

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: strapping young lad on January 12, 2005, 11:06:41

when in the work's car park

everyone climbs up out of their cars and you are the only one who climbs down

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Lostboy on January 12, 2005, 11:32:17

Quote from: "strapping young lad"

when in the work's car park

When you get banned from the work's car park for all the oil you've dripped all over it.

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: strapping young lad on January 12, 2005, 12:29:59

ive been told of for having a mucky car parked in the middle of shiny dub's

 :twisted:

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Hightower on January 12, 2005, 13:37:31

when friends put on their wellies, just to come up the drive to the house  :?

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Vam on January 12, 2005, 14:07:48

When your parents/grandparents reckon your driving has improved dramitcally but still refuse to go anywhere in it as it's too noisy and uncomfortable  :twisted:

Helen

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Merlin on January 12, 2005, 16:37:53

This is on my SWMBO's behalf.--"When the cars behind you keep a sensible distance & stop bullying you" (She used to have a Clio) :lol:  :lol:

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: V8MoneyPit on January 12, 2005, 17:55:09

When a squeak or rattle is an endeering feature, not an irritation.

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Xtremeteam on January 12, 2005, 19:33:22

when it gets banned from work & the ramps in the workshop cos off the divit u drop on the deck :oops:  :oops:  :oops:

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: POTASH on January 12, 2005, 22:46:51

when you have always got grazed knuckles :cry:

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Bush Tucker Man on January 12, 2005, 22:57:04

When
You have your own tea-mug at the local parts supplier
The main-dealer offers you a reserved parking space.

The local petrol station manager names his children after his best customer

 :lol:

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: Dangermouse on January 12, 2005, 23:05:24

When your mud-pattern tyres steal your gravel from your drive you thourght was a good idea because oil leak's on block paving is a bad thing  :?



DM  :)

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: POTASH on January 12, 2005, 23:09:21

when you get a christmas card from the local garage :shock:

Title: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU OWN A LANDROVER ?
Post by: hobbit on January 13, 2005, 07:25:43

When you have to sweep the drive every time you shut the door