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Chat & Social => The Bar - General Chat => Topic started by: biggerlandy on June 05, 2008, 11:21:29

Title: im going to kill the wife
Post by: biggerlandy on June 05, 2008, 11:21:29
i am very xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  off last gave the wife some money to look after in her bank account so i dont spend it because i wanted it for a allisport intercooler order it all ok she only gone and spent it got to wait till next week now for it back anybody got a spare grave for her :x
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: python on June 05, 2008, 12:09:27
i have a nice shiney spade here mate, ill help you dig if we make enough room for mine as well. deal??
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: Boggert on June 05, 2008, 12:14:50
i am very xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  off last gave the wife some money to look after in her bank account so i dont spend it because i wanted it for a allisport intercooler order it all ok she only gone and spent it got to wait till next week now for it back anybody got a spare grave for her :x

What did she spend it on?

Better be good!
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: Eeyore on June 05, 2008, 12:32:09
Ahh, the classic 'break down in communication'

If Lucus made relationships...............................  :lol:
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: strapping young lad on June 05, 2008, 13:26:38
cant hardly blame her for being given money..

what would you do if your missus gave you some cash and said dont spend it

whats the first thing you do


:)

should have bought it when you had the money not waited :)
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: biggerlandy on June 05, 2008, 14:53:20
done deal do em both together that or a divorce
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: Drift on June 05, 2008, 15:11:58
You could add interest then pray you get it back  [-o<
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: Jas278 on June 05, 2008, 16:18:05
i am very xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  off last gave the wife some money to look after in her bank account so i dont spend it because i wanted it for a allisport intercooler order it all ok she only gone and spent it got to wait till next week now for it back anybody got a spare grave for her :x



Onlyt got ya self to blame mate................you know what women are like , have to spend............... :doh:
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: biggerlandy on June 05, 2008, 16:23:39
give me a gun i ll shoot myself :doh:
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: V8MoneyPit on June 05, 2008, 17:51:28
By coinsidence, a trade customer turned up this morning. Only wanted about £5 worth of stuff, but had no cash in his wallet and none in the car either. He said his wife had been at his wallet and the kids had been in the car  :lol:
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: python on June 05, 2008, 17:53:05
poor guy, i know the feeling.  :'(
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: clbarclay on June 05, 2008, 17:59:57
gave the wife some money to look after
Sounds like entrapment if you ask me.
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: Silvery Thing on June 05, 2008, 18:01:39
I have been married for over 30 years and my wife has never taken money without asking first :dance:

I must be a good trainer :-k ;)
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: V8MoneyPit on June 05, 2008, 18:04:37
I must be a good trainer :-k ;)

Or very scary  :lol:
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: KingWolf on June 05, 2008, 18:04:50
Is this hole going to be big enough for another one...??? My wife [!Expletive Deleted!] off with one of my mates lasst year and obviously I'm still feeling a little bitter about the whole thing... :x :x :x

I am only joking by the way... :lol: :lol: :lol:

Mark.
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: python on June 05, 2008, 18:07:17
anymore for the hole? ill hire a jcb for this, i thnk ill need it.  :lol:
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: V8MoneyPit on June 05, 2008, 18:08:48
Is this hole going to be big enough for another one...??? My wife [!Expletive Deleted!] off with one of my mates lasst year and obviously I'm still feeling a little bitter about the whole thing... :x :x :x

That sounds like you'ld need a hole big enough for two!
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: biggerlandy on June 05, 2008, 18:25:57
im not joking she phoned me up a min ago to see if she can come home i said xxxxxxx off and yes lets do a job lot shall we
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: Silvery Thing on June 05, 2008, 18:45:51
I must be a good trainer :-k ;)

Or very scary  :lol:
Oh bloody heck.... I didn't think of that :lol:
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: TDi90 on June 05, 2008, 19:39:54
im not joking she phoned me up a min ago to see if she can come home i said xxxxxxx off and yes lets do a job lot shall we

i think its a bit harsh!
let her back in! lol
just tell her to learn from her mistake  :twisted:
and yours to lend it to her in the first place!!  :doh:
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: biggerlandy on June 05, 2008, 20:09:59
she is home made her cook steak etc she dont know what to say i think i will play on it a bit :lol:
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: schuee on June 05, 2008, 20:53:18
Reminds me of the time I was putting a little aside in an old whisky tin in the drinks cabinet, it was my little stash guess what? My eldest  :angel: she was only six at the time spied me counting it, next thing I knew, the wife was spending it , I guess all women are the same ( like mother, like daughter ) its in there genes  :huh:
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: Range Rover Red on June 05, 2008, 22:45:18
You know where to hide it next time ... in an old sock, under the squeaky floorboard, behind the kitchen dresser.
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: schuee on June 05, 2008, 22:52:33
You know where to hide it next time ... in an old sock, under the squeaky floorboard, behind the kitchen dresser.

 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ah but I still need to keep my eyes wide open for the secret police (my two daughters), the wife is El Capitano :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: Lord Shagg-Pyle on June 06, 2008, 01:24:35
Her Ladyship works on the following principles;

What is yours, is mine.
What is mine, is mine.
What you earn, I spend.
What I earn, I spend.
What you need is not important.
What my horse needs, it gets.
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: discomummy on June 06, 2008, 10:26:11
sorry, i don't understand the problem!

in our house, himself tells me what he wants, and lo and behold it appears.

he does not even put petrol in his car - when it is empty, i know, because he takes mine instead!

i give him £20 pocket money at the start of each week and when he goes out with his mates i always make sure he has enuff money for his beer and chips, and pick him up so he does not have to get a bus or taxi

he has no interest in the monetary side of things

regards

ela
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: The Ant Hill Mob on June 06, 2008, 12:28:57
Don't know what you're complaining about, a woman that puts up with a Landy owner is either a saint  :angel: or certifiable. :twisted:

Or quite possibly both.
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: richo on June 09, 2008, 21:14:27
My wife has said i can't spend any more on the landy until i've paid my tax bill.
Dam tax man.
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: pux on June 09, 2008, 21:45:02
is the wife still alive :?
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: wormster on June 09, 2008, 22:45:08
Sack wife #1,

get csaual significant other,

enter into NO monetary dealings,

much better all round.
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: python on June 09, 2008, 22:47:03
is the wife still alive :?

more importaintly did you get your money backyet??????????????????  8-[
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: biggerlandy on June 10, 2008, 07:33:14
yes she is alive just it funny as hell she is still very sheepy around me and getting money back on thursday
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: bigant on June 10, 2008, 17:31:13
anymore for the hole? ill hire a jcb for this, i thnk ill need it.  :lol:

i got a JCB you can borrow has Extra dig on the back actor as well!
can chuck my ex in the hole as well while were at it ^^
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: crazymac on June 11, 2008, 21:16:13
Reminds me of the Billy Connolly joke about a wee Glasgow lad in the pub.

His mate comes in and they start talking, and the mate asks "hows the wife?"

The reply is " She's deid!"

"What do you mean she's deid?"

"She's deid, I killed her"

"Dinnae talk rubbish, ye huvnae killed yer wife!!"

"I have, come home with me and I'll show you where I burried her!"

"Away, yer talking rubbish, come on and show me then!"

so they go back to the lads tennement (a flat to those that don't know) and the lad takes the mate through the close and down the back yard to the outside toilet where he points down and says.

"there she is!"

the mate looks down and sees a bum sticking out the earth, so says...

"you really did it!! I cannae believe it!! But why did you bury her with her bum sticking out the ground??"

To which the reply was.....................................

"I needed somewhere to park my bike"  :dance: :lol:
Title: Re: im going to kill the wife
Post by: Dr Evil on June 12, 2008, 20:30:08
Women. Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em !!!!
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