You know you're a Land Rover driver when...

[thermidorthelobster]

Apologies to those followers of other marques, but all of the following occurred to me yesterday as I ploughed up to Wales in the 101.

You know you're driving a classic Land Rover when...

- You are wearing a woolly hat and gloves in the car because even though there's a heater, all the heat disappears straight out of the air gaps.  When you walk in to pay for your fuel, all the other drivers think you must be driving a convertible.

- There's no frost on your windscreen in the morning, because the air doesn't condense as it's just as cold inside the windscreen as out.

- You can identify most of the components of your transmission individually by the noise they make.  This may also apply to the oil level in some of them.

- The toolbox you carry in the vehicle is bigger than the toolbox you leave at home.

- You become proficient at searching round the driver's footwell by hand, to find the thing that's just fallen off before it gets jammed under the brake.

- You have two different braking styles - one pump for normal, 2 pumps for major deceleration manoeuvres.

- You ride the clutch in first gear whilst waiting for the traffic lights to change, because it's easier than trying to yank the gearbox back into first again.

- You drive using the steering wheel like they used to in Play School when they were driving a bus, which in any other vehicle would cause you to veer all over the road.

- The self-reset mechanism on your indicator is your knee.

- You can drive for ten miles on full beam, and none of the oncoming drivers notice.

- You time junctions about 30 seconds in advance, in the hope that you can keep the momentum up.  You also take racing curves on roundabouts that Ayrton Senna would have been proud of, to minimise the amount you have to haul the steering around.

- You plan your routes around LPG stations.

- BP appoint an Account Manager to look after your custom (well, that hasn't happened yet, but :) )

[dave_2A_2.25Turbo]

All sounds very familiar to me.....

I'd add a third type of braking - the frantic pumping accompanied by a sudden sweat - occurs every 2 - 3 months or so

And the spares take up more space in the garage than the Land Rover does in the drive

[trustyrusty]

it,s not me then :lol:  :lol:  the full beam one bang on!

[dave_2A_2.25Turbo]

You spend more on modifications than you paid for the damn vehicle - then still take the mickey out of the boy-racers spending loads of money on cr*p cars... :oops:

[spy]

I like it! The headlight thing is so true :D

I drove 20 miles the other night accross country lanes without street lights, full beam all the way.  Not a single car flashed at me!

As for coming out of 1st gear at the lights, no chance!  If i find it once, I am leaving it there!

[H]

You can do your weekly shop entirely in morrisons mile vouchers, every week.

H

[datalas]

You can do your weekly shop entirely in morrisons mile vouchers, every week.

H

Morrisons ?  In Rawtenstall, either they've built one since I was last there, or you're going via Rochdale :?

Ps, I went to constable lee county primary :)

[H]

nope no Morrisons in Rawtenstall theres a new tescos and they are building a bigger asda on the dual carrage way next to the old clock tower (demolished the old mills that where next to it), The morrisons in Rochdale dont do LPG but I work in Manchester so I fill up either on Oldham Rd or on Hollins way as they are both 35.9, seems that every 5 fills gets me a voucher. I'm litterally just accross the fields from Constable Lee PS towards Crawshawbooth. Moving back to Rochdale soon though as it was where I was dragged up.

H

[TULL]

yep can relate to most of them.

[datalas]

where's the tescos then ?

will be driving past it when I go see the weir based parents at christmas.

[H]

its just off the Helmshore / Hasslingden roundabout of the Helmshore bypass, where they built that sham "lancashire garden center" to get the land permission grading as Rossendale CC wouldnt give planning permission for a Tesco's. I'd offer an invitation of a brew and a tyre kick when your up here but I wont be here, heading to see my brother down under on friday.

H

[Sheddy]

The one that interests me is the "play school" steering. I've only had my S3 since july and have spent untold hours trying to sory out the plat in the steering.

It would seem that the steering is as it should be.

[thermidorthelobster]

Now I have power steering in the 101, it's much better, but still you have to constantly correct, not like a "normal" car where you can point it in one direction and forget about it.

[Inked_Raven]

- You time junctions about 30 seconds in advance, in the hope that you can keep the momentum up.

How true!