What next?

[smo]

Anyone ever been in a situation where they really dont know what to do next, or how to get out of the rather [PooPoo] situation they are in?

General advice for sorting ones life out appreciated!

[Sheddy]

Allways take the course that seems hardest .... if it goes wrong you can always take a more moderate course.

[Evilgoat]

Anyone ever been in a situation where they really dont know what to do next, or how to get out of the rather PooPoo situation they are in?

General advice for sorting ones life out appreciated!

Yeah, right now

[att]

Examine all options carefully and thoroughly.
The one that feels the best is usually the one to go with.

And I do mean ALL options, even the ones that hurt.

[smo]

I dont seem to have many options though and am finding it pretty difficult tbh.

Outlook seems pretty gloomy whatever way i turn. :(

[Mudlark]

I dont seem to have many options though and am finding it pretty difficult tbh.

Outlook seems pretty gloomy whatever way i turn. :(

No matter how gloomy it seems it can always be worse believe me.

Just plan for tomorrow and live for today :lol:  :lol:

[att]

I dont seem to have many options though and am finding it pretty difficult tbh.

Outlook seems pretty gloomy whatever way i turn. :(

You have more options than you could imagine, step back away from your position and veiw it from outside, that is essentially what you do when you ask a friend for advice.

It is more difficult than it sounds, it is not easy, but it can be done, I learned to do this on my counselling studies.

[smo]

I'll give it a go. I spoke to a friend earlier who gave me some advice to perhaps seek other help too!

[Range Rover Blues]

I've had plenty of things go bad on me over the last 10 years, I've been made redundant twice, lost my dad and my godmother.  SWMBO is what's got me through it all TBH and now I'm learning to put things in perspective, like when my dad was ill I learned that a job is just a job, work to live not vica versa and if they don't like it tough.  I work for myself now, I just wish I was making a decent wage but I love my job.

[disco maniac]

you're doing the right thing by wanting to talk .

a trouble shared is a trouble halved, as they say. and at the end of the day you do what you think is best for you.

[Guy90]

There is an alternative view. The path of least resistance is always the right option. The way to do that is genuinely not care about anything or anybody. Nobody has control of their life. It hangs on the whim and decisions of others. So keep it simple. Only ever consider yourself and sod the rest.

I find a problem ignored is a problem gone away (unless the Police want you). It's easy enough to do if you only think of yourself and forget the consequences of your action on others. They would do it to you in the blink of an eye.

Unlike RRB, I live to work. It is the main part of my life and everything must come second to that. Try it, you'll be amazed how much it simplifies life.

[paul and sam]

none of us know what is next in our life we have to take each day as it comes if the day is a bad one then it will make you stronger for the next day and so it goes on .life will throw a curve ball at you and at the time you dont know why its happend .but it is all for a reason you may not have the answers now but one day it will be as plain as day. good luck we wish you well.

[Range Rover Blues]

Unlike RRB, I live to work. It is the main part of my life and everything must come second to that. Try it, you'll be amazed how much it simplifies life.

I tried it Guy, I worked damn hard for a company that just tossed me aside when things got tough, I'd had no holiday for 2 years and worked weekends and late shifts for nowt.  Once or twice I had to work through 2 days with just enough time at home for a s**t shave and shampoo.

I had the last laugh though, I shook the MDs hand when HE left before I did, the place closed within 2 years though.  I don't think they realised just how much my customers relied on me as project leader to stay customer focused, when I left a few of them did too.

I'll admit that a job that gives you satisfaction can be very absorbing and one that you succeed at is highly rewarding.  Without knowing what's troubling you (and we aren't prying mate) then we can't give you anything but the benifit of our own experiences.

I for one wouldn't want to wake up one morning and find I'd missed out on my life by working my a**e off for someone else.

I (and I'm sure everyone else) wish you the best in resolving things

[discomummy]

Hi,

Just a thought following on from RRB's comments,

How many people on their deathbed say

"I wish i spent more time at work"

work is a means to an end - to get money so you can do what you need/want to do.  I have also worked for companies where i have been an absolute "company man", and have been dumped on very badly.  I now do the best job i can at work but it is no longer the be all and end all - my family are that.  I believe in

"do unto others as you would have them do unto you" not

" do them before they do you"  as this one  is the reason this country is going to the dogs.

regards

ela

[Guy90]

Unlike RRB, I live to work. It is the main part of my life and everything must come second to that. Try it, you'll be amazed how much it simplifies life.

I tried it Guy, I worked damn hard for a company that just tossed me aside when things got tough, I'd had no holiday for 2 years and worked weekends and late shifts for nowt.  Once or twice I had to work through 2 days with just enough time at home for a s**t shave and shampoo.

I had the last laugh though, I shook the MDs hand when HE left before I did, the place closed within 2 years though.  I don't think they realised just how much my customers relied on me as project leader to stay customer focused, when I left a few of them did too.

I'll admit that a job that gives you satisfaction can be very absorbing and one that you succeed at is highly rewarding.  Without knowing what's troubling you (and we aren't prying mate) then we can't give you anything but the benifit of our own experiences.

I for one wouldn't want to wake up one morning and find I'd missed out on my life by working my a**e off for someone else.

I (and I'm sure everyone else) wish you the best in resolving things

Nothing to resolve old boy. I like my life the way it is. Wouldn't change a thing about it. I had the first holiday in 10 years in 2001. Didn't really suit me so not bothered since.

[Bulli]

Guy, what do you do? I think you must have a very straightforward way of life which is by far the best.

Smo, hope you find the answer to your questions. Life has a way of showing you whats best. Like RRB says not prying but specific advice is hard to offer without any idea whats wrong.

I have found a few times when things really felt like i had the world on my shoulders. I found that worrying about it was the worst thing i could do. It just added to the pressure.
I read a lot of philosphy and find that complicated answers are not the way forward. Try and get a little time to yourself, sit down and be quiet and listen to what you have to say. Its usually the best way forward.

sounds like Balls i know, but it works for me.

[NiceBlueWellies]

Guy has anything but a straightforward way of life!!!!!!!!  

What works for one, doesn't necessarily work for another, unfortunatley.  You have to find your own path in life and take the rough with the smooth.  And a lot of us have gone down the rocky path far too much for our own liking. :?

There will always be regrets in life, and NOTHING can turn the clock back.  You just have to look forward and take the path that you think you can live with.  Jobs are just jobs.  Family is VERY important.  Look after each other and they will hopefully look after you too in difficult times.  Friends come and go, vehicles ultimately break, money is not the be all and end all, health is to cherish - money can't make you better!

There is ALWAYS someone worse off than you, even though it may not seem like it.

[Guy90]

Guy, what do you do?

I work for the goverment.

I have enough money for the lifestyle I want, I have (finally) a decent Land Rover and I job I enjoy and am good at.

I'm a happy bunny!!!

[Guy90]

Guy has anything but a straightforward way of life!!!!!!!!  

Er! That's not right :shock:

[Cate]

Hey Smo, we all get [!Expletive Deleted!] thrown at us, and we can wallow in it or get up. When I was up to my knees in it looking for a way out I concentrated on the things that mattered most,
firstly, ME! without the me I wasn't going to get anywhere, so look after yourself.
secondly, the people round you who care for you, not the 'sometimes mates', but the real friends/partners/family who are probably wading in and trying to offer you a hand. They are so important.

Everything else can be put aside, work, the state of the garden, the bathroom tiling..... its all inconsequential when it comes down to the real things in life.
Unclutter your mind of trivialities, take a deep breath and look at each part as a separate entity. If you need professional help, go get it, thats what they are there for.
And don't forget, there is life the other side of the fog. Best of luck.

[laser_jock99]

How many people on their deathbed say

"I wish i spent more time at work"

work is a means to an end - to get money so you can do what you need/want to do.  I have also worked for companies where i have been an absolute "company man", and have been dumped on very badly.  I now do the best job i can at work but it is no longer the be all and end all - my family are that.

]

Ditto.

Your family, your health and friends should be more important to you than work. A job is just a job. Family and good friends are much harder to be without.

[muckmoses]

Six years ago I was in a very low place after a divorce and a failed subsequent relationship.
For two years I was alone and had got used to being on my own and what do you know this wonderful woman turned up totally out of the blue.
Now was shaky to start with but I now have a fantastic 2 1/2 year old son and a fantastic partner who enjoys getting dirty in the mud.  Life has never been better, but I had to be where I was 6 years ago to be where I am now.

[NiceBlueWellies]

Guy has anything but a straightforward way of life!!!!!!!!  

Er! That's not right :shock:

Er, yes it is!!!!!!!!

You have to go here,there,and everywhere, catching the people you want to catch and the stuff you have to do to get to the point of capture.  I call that not straightforward.  You don't know where you are going to be from one week to the next.  :shock:  Or at what time either!!!!! :shock:  :shock:  :shock:

Straightforward is  - get up, eat breakfast, go to work, or not, do the usual boring stuff, go home, or not as the case may be, eat tea, watch tele, bed.  then start all over again.  Straightforward.  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[Guy90]

Guy has anything but a straightforward way of life!!!!!!!!  

Er! That's not right :shock:

Er, yes it is!!!!!!!!

No it isn't :roll:

You have to go here,there,and everywhere, catching the people you want to catch and the stuff you have to do to get to the point of capture.  I call that not straightforward.  You don't know where you are going to be from one week to the next.  :shock:  Or at what time either!!!!! :shock:  :shock:  :shock:

Can do it with my eyes closed. As straightforwards as it gets. Also I don't do that anymore.

Straightforward is  - get up, eat breakfast, go to work, or not, do the usual boring stuff, go home, or not as the case may be, eat tea, watch tele, bed.  then start all over again.  Straightforward.  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

It didn't mean that. Straightforward means being able to decide how to live life without having to worry about or consider anyone else.

[blueboar]

:shock:   Knowlage Dispels Fear   :shock:

[Evilgoat]

:shock:   Knowlage Dispels Fear   :shock:

<=- Need an ice-scraper there?

[NiceBlueWellies]

Straightforward means being able to decide how to live life without having to worry about or consider anyone else.

Er, no!!!!!  That is single life!!!!! :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:

[Xtremeteam]

Straightforward means being able to decide how to live life without having to worry about or consider anyone else.

Er, no!!!!!  That is single life!!!!! :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:

Yup........

[Guy90]

Straightforward means being able to decide how to live life without having to worry about or consider anyone else.

Er, no!!!!!  That is single life!!!!! :twisted:  :twisted:  :twisted:

And?

It's still straightforward isn't it :roll:  :roll:

[Range Rover Red]

Without knowing what exactly is bothering you, Smo (and that is your own business), I hope this helps.

1. Take a long, hard look at everything positive in your life and be thankful for it.
2. Be nice to everyone - it gives you the 'moral high ground' and making someone else's day can give you a lift as well.
3. Remember that in the grand scheme of things you are just as important and just as good as anyone else - NOBODY is second best and we all have our part to play.

If you can take this on board and believe it, hopefully it will help you put things into perspective.  If it's financial, grovel to them before they start taking action!


Whatever's bothering you, I hope it works out OK for you.  When it does, sit down and look at what you've learned from your situation, it'll make you feel tons better.  

Obviously a lot of people care enough to add their two penn'orth to this thread, sometimes just knowing that people care can be enough to help you get through the bad times.  Chin up mate, we're all rooting for you!