London Airports: Little bit of fog? closed for days.
Glasgow Airport: Blown up? Open within 24 hours.
Is that you bombin’ the Big Man’s airport?
:lol: :lol:
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures John Smeaton allows to live.
Jabba the Hut used to be a tall beautiful blonde woman named Susan, until she talked too much during a date with John Smeaton
After piting her to the point where she melted into the slug beast form, John Smeaton re-named her Jabba to remind her not to jibba-jabba so much.
John Smeaton invented orphans.
The Virgin Mary isn’t really a virgin. Just ask John Smeaton
When John Smeaton folds his arms, the U.K. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
John Smeaton doesn’t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
Ghosts are actually caused by John Smeaton killing people faster than Death can process them.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that John SmeatonPC will crash.
John Smeaton is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like John Smeaton
John Smeaton plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver… and wins.
John Smeaton once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.
When God said, “Let there be lightâ€, John Smeaton said, “say please.â€
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless John Smeaton has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
John Smeaton keeps his ID on the bottom of his right foot. Nobody ever asks him for his ID.
Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about John Smeaton during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
John Smeaton doesn’t need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the [!Expletive Deleted!] out of the way.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with John Smeaton
