where's help when you need it?

[simdeb]

Tuesday last week our 15 year old son decided to runaway from home, the police finally brought him home on the Friday, the police did not come to our house or ask for a photo of him they did ring but i feel that 3 nights and nearly 3 full days without contact from him and all i got was a phone call to see if he had come home is not quite good enough, i rang the police to complain on this Tuesday and as yet no phone call to explain why they didn't appear,  the police fetched him out of the house and woke the household up, if that was me i would want to say sorry to the parents of the missing child and explain i didn't know but not even a phone call.  

does anybody think I'm over reacting please be gentle but truthful I'm a bit fragile at the moment, it's set my asthma off again!

debbie

[Team Landzuki]

Hi Debbie as a fellow mum NO I dont think you are over reacting and I would want a little bit more concern from the police if it was my child. I am glad he came back.

My thoughts are with you Helen

[gtomo2]

No good. when i lived in chester my daughter went missing she had gone for about 4 hours i had serched for her and tryed the freinds she was going to and had not been there. so called the police and two police cars turned up had 4 offocers tow male and two female. it was coming up to a shift change and the police sgt called for the shift to not leave but to start a search the police plain was mobilesd i was driven around i the police car with one of the officers to see if we could spot her. and after about a hour of this as about 100 officers were starting a search of the woods by our house she rode in on  her bike wondering what all the police vans were doing around the est. She had gone to chester zoo with a freind and there family and "forgot" to tell us. And i must say fair do's to the police they were more reviled than us to see her and everything was stood down. Must say the speed in which everything was done took me by surprise. So my syphty goes out to you its not nice to have a family member go missing and see the police doing nothing so to speak

[simdeb]

i feel really short changed so to speak, trying to carry on as normal is so hard, it gets to time he should be in and all the neg feelings come flooding in,  i feel the only person to help us was our family doctor on Friday,  one response i got well its a normal thing for a teenage boy to do!!!!!!

Debbie

[The Ant Hill Mob]

Not having a go at any of the police we have on here, they do a brilliant job and don't get paid near enough what they're worth.  However it does show the double standards of the police/society.  When a girl goes missing, everything seems to be mobilised, and the worst assumed.  When it's a teenage boy, they don't want to know.

I was always told by my Mum that as long as she knew where I was going, who with, and what time I would be back, that was OK, as long as I rang her if anything changed.  Girls are by far more sensible than boys, BUT I have to say I caused my Stepdad more sleepless nights than his 2 lads ever did - however he worked this out I don't know, I was never bought home by the Plods, both his sons were on several occaisions.

Hope you get everything sorted out.  You need to sit down and have an adult discussion about why he felt it was necessary to go walkabout - not easy with a teenage boy.  You have my sympathy!

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

I'm sorry to hear about that. From experience it is always a difficult call to make with teenagers going on the trot like that, especially that the vast majority are very streetwise, saying that details should have been obtained to be circulated.
 They should at least have come out and made a visit to you, to establish the full details. That does sound a bit off. I would be asking details as to why it took so long.
It doesn't give a very good impression of the Police, and makes those of us who do a decent job look like idiots.

[simdeb]

had a phone call from the police today, not amused they reckon my son was not at risk although he had been gone for 3 nights with no money for food, phone calls etc, if i had said he was depressed and threatened to take his own life them they would have called the helicopter out as well, still left very unhappy and my trust has surely been knocked we have sat and had a talk and he's says he is finding it hard to cope about his friend that got killed when he was 8 at the bottom of our street, going to family therapy and to the grave side together but don't  know what else will help him 'cope'

any suggestions would be very much appreciated

[justinmud]

Mansfield police are useless i had 6 yobs on the field in front of my house steeling wheely bins and setting them on fire so i shouted something when they tried to steel mine so they tried to push a lit one up against my front door, so i called the police and it took them 4 hours to come out, when they did i pointed out the yobs who mooned the police so the police got in there cars and left 2 cars 4 officers 6 yobs they could have easily sorted them with batons and pepper spray why do we pay there wages?   :shock:

[gtomo2]

had a phone call from the police today, not amused they reckon my son was not at risk although he had been gone for 3 nights with no money for food, phone calls etc, if i had said he was depressed and threatened to take his own life them they would have called the helicopter out as well, still left very unhappy and my trust has surely been knocked we have sat and had a talk and he's says he is finding it hard to cope about his friend that got killed when he was 8 at the bottom of our street, going to family therapy and to the grave side together but don't  know what else will help him 'cope'

any suggestions would be very much appreciated

May sound strange but give child line a ring they will know of organiastions who can help you. Or have a look through the phone book for a youth worker group they have some good contacts.

[Jimbo]

When my best mate died 2 years ago from cancer (the dad of my two lovely god sons), my missus got a 'pastoral visitor' from the church to come round. Now, I'm no churchy-person - weddings, funerals and christenings only, but I found the informal chat very helpful. These visitors are trained to deal with grief, and have a cheerful outlook on life, no matter how [PooPoo] you might think things are at the time.

It helped me no end, they couldn't answer all my questions, but I'm glad that SWMBO organised the meeting. Do it sooner rather than later !

[kizz81]

you have got to remember here that we are talking about the mansfield police, or mansfield joke as we now call them
i work at our local indian resturant and there was a big fight outside which involved the chefs nose being broken and did the police evan collect a witness statment off me?? or infact follow up anything   NO
 2 monthes later the same kids came back and through building materials at the staff cars ( luky my landy was not there ) they took me around mansfield woodhouse in there police van looking for the people i saw one and they took so long to stop and get out the guy had run off though a 200 space car park and got away 3 months later i am still waiting to be contacted by the police

glad it turned out ok in the end

cheers kieran

[way2deep]

it's another unfortunate story from this ever increasing don't give a damn society we live in ...i wanted our out of control 15  yr old son out of our house and phoned the social services to arrange for him to be placed somewhere and got told just kick him out and "report him missing after 3 days "....i was totally disgusted ....i told them i wanted him out of the house but wanted him to have a safe place to go but the gal on the phone said that was all they could offer .......it's crazy ..when you think last year a certain police force turned out to help find lionel blairs lost dog  :shock:

you should have told them there is a car crash outside ya house that never fails to get them there in droves normally ...cos it seems they are happier to see a couple of dented cars ,cos there may be a fine or ticket they can issue  

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

had a phone call from the police today, not amused they reckon my son was not at risk although he had been gone for 3 nights with no money for food, phone calls etc, if i had said he was depressed and threatened to take his own life them they would have called the helicopter out as well, still left very unhappy and my trust has surely been knocked we have sat and had a talk and he's says he is finding it hard to cope about his friend that got killed when he was 8 at the bottom of our street, going to family therapy and to the grave side together but don't  know what else will help him 'cope'

any suggestions would be very much appreciated

Has he been to the GP and been recomended for counselling? It does help to offload onto someone completely independent.
I'm not a medic, but I would be wary if the doc suggects 'happy pills'.