Topic for Random Discussion

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

I was told by my wife that if a horse puts its ears forward, it is being friendly and wants to say hello.
Why is it then, that when I went to say 'hello' to an equine at my wife's stables, that it puts its ears forward and bit my hand? Evil creature! Both my wife and the horse!

[beast5680]

Horses.....hateful things they make me sneeze and cough as i,m allergic to them i find it best to avoid them completely

[narked]

I tend to find that regardless of the positioning of the ears in relation to everything else, they try to bite me. Or if I am not available to be bitten, and they happen to be out in the yard, they bite my car instead.

And once again I have been roped into collecting haylage this afternoon. Yet do the walking tins of Pedigree Chum appreciate this? Nope!

[P16LET]

Maybe it operates on the same basis as a dog wagging it's tail won't bite....that's absolute tosh too, as the three small yappy pointless dogs I've launched into orbit after attaching themselves to my person, were all wagging their tails beforehand..... :shock:  

[clbarclay]

The way to a horses heart (like most creatures) is through its mouth, offer them a polo or apple chunk first and then they tend to be a lot more appreciative of you. Alternatively just give them a wide birth, after all how would you react if a natural preadator walked up to you?

[wingman]

how would you react if a natural preadator walked up to you?

LSP isn't French is he?  :?


 

[narked]

Actually I think I've worked out why one of the horses is less than sociable when it comes to people. I reckon if I had to carry the weight of the father in law on my back on a regular basis I'd attack anyone who came near me too...

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

Just found this

Campaign Of Death
The horses are smart, as in they make the deaths appear to be 'accidents'. Here is a list of some things they are doing ON PURPOSE!
they throw people from them (Christopher Reeves)
they bite people (my cousin got bit)
they stampede and trample people to death
they phone me late at night and neigh messages of death at me
they pretend they are walking away, but instead deliever a kick of death to the human standing foolishly behind them
they invade dreams (DC once dreamt of being bit on the hand!)
they pretend they are going to jump over something but instead stop, causing the human to be flung over them and onto the ground where they can then stomp on them
they send me letters with threatening hoof prints on them
Warning signs of an impending attack:
If you're hanging around horses (I don't know why you would), then here are the warning signs to look out for.
snorting
stamping of the foot
flicking of the tail
trotting
neighing
threatening letters or phone calls
How do we stop this?
Short term: If you think there is an impending attack (which there will be at some point) then I suggest hiding from the horses.
Long term: We clear out a huge section of a country and give it to the horses so they may roam in peace. There is no other way without more violence and killings, which would suck.

Anyone who doesn't agree with this is one or more of the following:
a horse
a horse dressed up like a human
in denial
under the influence of a horse or horses
wants to be a horse


They are out there, watching and waiting, appearing in cereal snack bar adverts to lull us in a false sense of security!

[piggysteve]

And the wife says i'm bitter and twisted every time I threaten to send the 4 legged dung machines to the knacker man so we can actually afford to live.

Steve

[Boggert]

They also Fart lots!  :shock:

[Range Rover Blues]

I liek horses, never been bitten, kicked etc.  Been stood on once by accident and the horse was ever so sorry, it nealry fell over trying not to put any more weight on my foot, so it hardly hurt.

I think they are smart enough to know you don't like them, if it puts it's ears foreward it's listening to you, that's all, if it doesn't like what it hears........

And how on earth do you get bitten by a herbivoar anyway?

[ben_haynes]

And how on earth do you get bitten by a herbivoar anyway?

With its Teeth :lol:

[wingman]

Quite like them personally, although I did once lose a toenail when one accidentally stuck its hulking great hoof on my welly boot.

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

They also Fart lots!  :shock:

Who do? Wives or horses?

[fudge]

There's five of them (horses) in the field not 4ft from the kitchen window..... and as yet, I've not heard them fart! :roll:  Mrs Fudge on the otherhand woke herself up a with a fart a few weeks back..... I almost wee'd the bed... I got the blame of course

[TDi90]

both. i hate them. not wives horses...

[Boggert]

I had an ex who had horses... She was good in the saddle :lol:  :oops:

But smelt of horses, so it didn't last long.

[ian_s]

i like horses, they go quite well on the grill  :twisted:

[TDi90]

I had an ex who had horses... She was good in the saddle :lol:  :oops:

But smelt of horses, so it didn't last long.

hahahaha!
good one  :lol:

[Smego]

I once had a horse charge at me so I shot it dead.

I didn't get bitten once :)

[TDi90]

haaaaaaaaaaaaaa your joking right?!
R

[Lord Shagg-Pyle]

Horses are evil personified!

[Red Defender]

if your scared the horse might bite, Why stand so close ? - just a  thought !

[Smego]

haaaaaaaaaaaaaa your joking right?!
R

No why :?:

[Boggert]

haaaaaaaaaaaaaa your joking right?!
R

No why :?:

 :(bigwicked):

There are a few round here I would like to shoot, however its not so easy to hide the carcus!