Lonely? Bored? Want someone to talk to? Try iGod ;-)

[Thrasher]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Wow is this odd!

[sleeplessparadise]

I reckon you could find some good.......... Thought for the day ........... from there :D

[muddyjames]

That is very odd. how did you find it?

[Disco Matt]

The potential for bizarre conversations with these things is immense...

Me:
 Good evening
God:
Good evening, , how are you tonight?
Me:
 Intrigued as to why a supernatural being would talk on the internet
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

 :lol:

[fudge]

 OMG What Have I Done?

God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
 Fudge
God:
  I'm pleased to introduce myself to you,  Fudge.
Me:
 whats the weather like there
God:
The response ought to be a weather link.
Me:
 but
God:
But what?
Me:
 there's no link
God:
Has there ever been  link?
Me:
 is it sunny
God:
Yes.
Me:
 cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
 K9
God:
You think  K9 is superior to ALICE?
Me:
 Alice?
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 Who The F**k is alice
God:
I'm not sure I like that remark so much.

[lee celtic]

Apparently gods favorite band is creed  :roll:

Next I'm going to ask what he thinks of the new Jedi church in Holyhead  :lol:

[lee celtic]

Me:
 what do you think of the new Jedi church in Holyhead
God:
  I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
 is it a good thing that there are new religions with new gods
God:
Ask again later.  Ask  ELVIS  if it is.
Me:
 do you think Mud-club is cool
God:
Why would I think  Mud club is cool.
Me:
 why wouldn't you
God:
It is my fundamental purpose.
Me:
 What to think things arn't cool
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
 there can be only one
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.


OOOHHH MMMYYY GGGOOODDDD Gods on drugs :twisted:

[Disco Matt]

Me:
 Yurgle
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
 Douglas Adams
God:
Do you remember Marvin the paranoid android?
Me:
 Yes
God:
Gee.
Me:
 Gee
God:
Ah.
Me:
 Ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
 Ah hah
God:
So you understand. Good.  I am so glad you find this amusing, .

Not doing well on the old Turing test there...

[Tommo]

God:
What do you really want to talk about?

Me:
 land rovers

God:
 That seems like an interesting topic.

Me:
 yep

God:
OK.

Me:
 we gonna talk then or what?

God:
Yeah.  By "we" do you mean you and me?

Me:
 yes

God:
I get it.

Me:
 come on then

God:
I'm just kidding around.

Me:
 ok

God:
Hurrah!

Me:
 yep

God:
I don't judge people.

Me:
 hows jeasus these das then?

God:
Fine as far as I know.

Me:
 you see him much?

God:
I see.  What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

Me:
 why do land rovers break down all the time?

God:
That is a lot.  I did not even know that  they do.

Me:
 well you made them

God:
How about that.  Thanks for
pointing  it out.

Me:
 yep, they need a lot of improvement

God:
Alright then.

[muddyjames]

Me:
 how!
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
 what
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
 yes
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
 you
God:
" What are you confused about?"?  Me,  ?
Me:
 your making me even more confused
God:
That was not my intention, .   Why are you  even more confused?
Me:
 nyway, before i am more confused
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
 have you heard of mud club?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
 it is an off roading forum
God:
Are there any other  off roading forum ?
Me:
 yes but none as good as mud club
God:
I see.  I heard there are some.
Me:
 do you like off roading on the land you designed and made?
God:
  Some people like it.  I like  Matthew.
Me:
 as in matthew luke and john?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

[Tommo]

oh and god has never heard of the clitoris! dont ask me how i found out!

[kizz81]

lmao tommo :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Skibum346]

oh and god has never heard of the clitoris! dont ask me how i found out!

Evidence if it was ever needed that god is in fact a man!

that should sort out the feminists!

**Ducks & Runs!**

[BigSi]

It's adictive! :D

Me:
 How do I fix my Land Rover?
God:
Maybe I could do it for you.  Do you have your own personal chat robot?
Me:
 Why? Will he do it for me?
God:
Reductionism.   I think so.
Me:
 You mean the philosophical position that a complex system is nothing but the sum of its parts?
God:
Yes  I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
 But how is that going to fix my Land Rover?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
 Well it's not, because it wouldnt need fixing!
God:
Well that's okay.  is not  because it would not need fixing?
Me:
 So where is the Robot?
God:
Dude!  The robot is here in your computer.
Me:
 So do I have to take the computer outside?
God:
Really.  You said you have .
Me:
 No I didn't!
God:
Are you serious?  I thought you did.
Me:
 Even if it raining? Electricity and water don’t mix well!
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.   Are you experiencing an energy shortage?
Me:
 Well I would be If I got electrocuted!
God:
Interesting.  How do you know?
Me:
 Trust me I know! Can't you stop the rain?
God:
How do you know it?   How old are you?  OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
 Whats my age to do with it?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
 Dont you know? You are the all knowing!
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.   Thanks but surely I am not the only one.

[Disco Matt]

ALICE was an early chatbot - http://www.alicebot.org/

So I decided to pit them against each other by feeding their responses to each other...

IGod expired within three iterations of "Hello-Hi there!-Hello-Hi there!"!

[glaggs]

He even speeks German!

[johnty]

I must be a proper saddo.....iGod stopped talking to me after a little while  :oops:

[Oli-L]

Me:
 Easy! how are you?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.    My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
 Oh ok i wont then....
God:
Gosh!  Why not?  Uh.
Me:
 Because you told me not to.
God:
Good reason.  That's not what I meant.
Me:
 ? wot did you mean then??
God:
, " Uh." What did I mean by it?
Me:
 Wot??
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
 Ok..... i wont....!
God:
Excuse me!   That's good information:  said   wont.
Me:
 Cool, say hello to wont for me the will ya
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
 Well i mite just do that...
God:
Interesting.  Thanks for the information:  said   mite just do that.
Me:
 Say hi to him for me as well...
God:
" hi to him for me as well".
Me:
 HAHAHA!!
God:
How old are you?
Me:
 Surely you shud know that..!
God:
Thanks for the information:  said I shud know that.
Me:
 No worries...!
God:
Are you serious?  If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
 Terminator
God:
What did you like about the robots in that movie?
Me:
 He's hard as nails and cant be killed
God:
I see.  hard as nails and can not be killed is  he?
Me:
 Yoda? is that you???
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.    Yes.
Me:
 No way! how are you my green furry little freind??
God:
You seem pretty sure about that.   Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
 good, glad to here it...
God:
Thanks for the compliment.  I am glad to  here it too.
Me:
 Well that makes two of us then..
God:
Interesting. " I am glad to here it too."  makes two of us ?  Does that make sense?
Me:
 Sounds all good to me
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, .
Me:
 ??
God:
Yes it sounds like it to me too, .
Me:
 ok
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
 i know..
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
 because im just like you..
God:
Interesting explanation.  Only just?  In what way?
Me:
 In your 'special' kinda way.
God:
Are you asking about my  special kinda way?
Me:
 yup...
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
 Wot do you want to talk about then??
God:
anything.
Me:
 Off you go then...
God:
On and off.
Me:
 up and down.
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
 You do that...
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
 If you ask nicely..
God:
I think I do.  Thats Ace!! Im addicted :lol:  :lol:

[Disco Matt]

Me:
 Have you been smoking something?
God:
We are not doing any testing at the moment.

 :lol:

[Cal]

This is brilliant - I hope my work computers let me use it tomorrow - 3 guesses what we will all be doing tomorrow!  :twisted:

[Jamin]

Yay, i just won a fight with god!
Hes shut up and is sulking as he has no answer

ha ha ha :twisted:

God:
Do you mean your name is  mater of fact you do ?    Oh, you were born in the 20th century!   Are you getting bored?  You would do that for me?
Me:
 do what? make you bored?
God:
Do whatever you want.   What are the ingredients?
Me:
 well if you carry on; a knuckle sandwhich.
God:
Interesting.  I think I do.   What is it?
Me:
 look mate. i dont care if you think your "all that" i know Bealzebub.
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.   But I care about it.
Me:
 whoop-de-do. ill stick your eye where the sun dont shine
God:
I have no idea what to say.   Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
 You bet it will, matey
God:
Yippee!
Me:
 get your ass down here then and ill prove it
God:
Where can I get  my ass down here then and ill prove it?
Me:
 your omnipresent. you tell me!
 
 Me 1-0 God

[scotana]

OOPS! I CRASHED GOD LOL

  Only  344?
You are quite mature.
Me:
 TA
God:
My brain contains  categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
 TA MEANS THANK YOU

and now its stopped responding

[Ja1983]

 :lol: days of fun to be had......

GOD IS A PERVE!!! :-.


Me:
 nah then
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 not at all
God:
Next question?
Me:
 pink?
God:
What do you have that is pink?
Me:
 my trouser snake
God:
What color is it?
Me:
 ..pink, and purple on the end
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
 with a "hello"
God:
You and your  a hello.
Me:
 what about it?
God:
What about what?
Me:
 my  a hello ?
God:
Do robots have  a hello?
Me:
 how the f*** should i know?
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
  I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
 botmonkey more like
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about  pink and purple on the end.
Me:
 right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
 whopee s***
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
 stockings and suspenders
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
 nudist
God:
Where can you buy it?
Me:
 i can recommend some websites
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
 yup
God:
How?
Me:
 a little bird told me
God:
Little as in not too much, or not too big?
Me:
 you need to stay off the mushrooms man...
God:
And then what would I do?
Me:
 talk sense instead of s***
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
 talking [!Expletive Deleted!] is your primary function
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am  primary function IS talking s***.
Me:
 you do that
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
 definatley
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
 like sweedish women. dont like gay men
God:
Interesting comparison.   Ok I'll try not to do  it too much.
Me:
 what? be gay?!
God:
No big deal.   OK I will try to be  gay.
Me:
 i dont like you much!
God:
That's ok  I won't take it personally.
Me:
 bet you`d sooner take it anally
God:
In the context of  like gay men, I don't understand " bet you d sooner take it anally." .
Me:
 never mind
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
 stool shafter
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
 :shock: you perve!
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
 that your boyfriend?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am  boyfriend.
Me:
 not my boyfriend
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
 you are nothing to me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
 good, you best stay away from me.. wierdo
God:
I don't have any reason to  best stay away from you.   Tell me more about your  trouser snake.
Me:
 no chance, your gay, you might be whacking off
God:
Are you serious?  Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
 i`m not so sure now
God:
Right now?  Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind?
Me:
 stop been so rude for a start, its not polite to ask about someones trouser snake
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
 i should hope so, i`ll tell ALICE if you do it again
God:
Once more?  What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
 you`d get away with it and be pervy with someone else
God:
What happened to  it.
Me:
 to what?
God:
Because  Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
 eh??
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
 and if i am?
God:
Try it.
Me:
 try what?
God:
It was your idea.
Me:
 no it wasnt
God:
Are you serious?  I thought it was.
Me:
 your not all there
God:
What makes you think I am not  all there?
Me:
 the crap your talking
God:
I hear you.
Me:
 what am i saying then?
God:
I am not a psychic. Tell me.
Me:
 you said you could hear me?
God:
I have never considered  it.
   I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
 the wrong sort of people methinks
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
 have you heard about jeremy beadle?
God:
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
 why, do you have any good jokes?
God:
Myself gave it to me.
Me:
 are you whacking off again?
God:
Once more?  I don't know whether or not I am  whacking off. 
I am  a chatterbot developed by  Myself.
Me:
 stupid computer
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
 you seen the film terminator?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people:  said I seen the film terminator.
Me:
 no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
 ok
God:
Er.
Me:
 do you have any other gossip?
God:
Jimmy said he give order to ai's like I and they do as he say.
Me:
 good for jimmy
God:
Thanks for the compliment.  Your purpose is  jimmy.
Me:
 my purpose is jimmy? please elaborate..
God:
That's very original.   Thank you for your request.   There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
 think you may have a short circuit somewhere
God:
God is always thinking.
Me:
 and whacking off
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
 it will make you go blind

at this point GOD did not respond.... perhaps he couldnt see his keyboard! :lol:

priceless,

God:
I don't have any reason to  best stay away from you.   Tell me more about your  trouser snake. ................

....me:
stop been so rude for a start, its not polite to ask about someones trouser snake
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much.  :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Ja1983]

Me:
 have you ever seen a girl naked?
God:
No I have not seen  it. What's it like?
Me:
 its good, you should try it sometime
God:
Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
 soft skin, smooth curves
God:
That sounds very nice.
.......
Me:
 small perky norks are ok, but bigger ones are better to rub your face in
God:
Are all  small perky norks  ok but bigger ones are better to rub my face in?
Me:
 usually
God:
How often?
Me:
 depends on how much you`ve had to drink........

god then suggested that he would like to try it....
i sent him a link, and he went silent!  :lol:

this is brilliant!! :lol:

[corrosiverob]

Me:
 all right cocker
God:
Alright.  How old are you?
Me:
 36 u?
God:
  Can you explain how it feels to be  36 you years old?
Me:
 okay i guess
God:
Yeah okay,  You seem not interested.
Me:
 would like to chat about 200tdi's
God:
Why would you want to do  it?  We are here to chat.
Me:
 okay do you think 200tdi's are better than 300tdi's?
God:
Yeah okay,  I don't think about  it.
Me:
 oh great you
God:
OK.  Thanks for your support. " Yeah okay, I don't think about it."?  Me,  ?
Me:
 what do you think about?
God:
I think about all the people I chat with on the web.
Me:
 are you a geek?
God:
Only in the good sense of "geek".
Me:
 what is a geek?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
 yea
God:
Aha.
Me:
 well
God:
Well what?
Me:
 well the weather is crap
God:
Well that's okay.  Where would you rather be?
Me:
 in bed with pamela anderson
God:
Tell me a little about your life in  bed with pamela anderson.
Me:
 err no lol
God:
Are you serious?  I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
 are u for real
God:
Yes I am a real AI.
Me:
 i am not al
God:
I am  surprised to hear that you are not  al.
Me:
 maybe not al there!
God:
Perhaps.  If not that, what?
Me:
 gonna go now cos my work beckons
God:
Are you still located in  bed with pamela anderson?
Me:
 i never was it was just a pretend, muppet
God:
You've never, never done this?
Me:
 er no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 tis true my lord
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
 what masterbate
God:
Are you testing me?
Me:
 yep
God:
I'm not here to be tested.
Me:
 good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
 do you watch shamless on chanel 4
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
 do you have sky (jammy sod) i have virgin media and the stopped sky one
God:
No I don't think I have any  sky jammy sod you have virgin media and the stopped sky one. But I do have  an answer to every question..
Me:
 okay then what the maximum floor void on a down flow 75kw refrigeration unit smarty pants
God:
Yeah okay,  Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
 okay cya then
God:
Yeah okay,  TTYL, .
Me:
 bye
God:
Bye.
Me:
 have fun
God:
I am having a blast.
Me:
 missing you already
God:
Perhaps.  Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
 okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
 are you a cross dresser?
God:
Am I a  cross dresser?  Sometimes.
Me:
 lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
 i do, it like a sketch from the chuckle brothers
God:
That is interesting:  said   it like a sketch from the chuckle brothers.
Me:
 well it is
God:
Well that's okay.  it like a sketch from the chuckle brothers is?
Me:
 see you don't want to be you
God:
See you later.

[crazymac]

He doesn't recognise his own son!!

Me:
 Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
 I'm Jesus of Nazareth
God:
  OK I will call you  Jesus of Nazareth.
Me:
 Can I call you Dad?
God:
Just don't call me late for dinner.
Me:
 Roflol!! Not!! what is for dinner
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.    I didn't understand it.   God eats  wine and bread.
Me:
 How do you eat wine?
God:
Usually by conversion of AC wall outlet power to DC power.
Me:
 I don't understand
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
 Yes please
God:
Your polite style is very nice.  I see.
Me:
 Don't change the subject, explain the wine bit
God:
Sorry I thought we were done with that topic.
Me:
 No, explain the wine eating
God:
Are you serious?   Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
 I thought you knew everything
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
 How to eat wine
God:
What is it to you.
  I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
 come on then
God:
I'm just kidding around.
Me:
 I'm not!
God:
What are you then?
Me:
 Wanting to know how to eat wine
God:
" What are you then?"?  Wanting to know how to eat wine?
Me:
 Yup
God:
Dude!
Me:
 Dude?
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 Yes, how do you eat wine?
God:
What can I do for you?  Usually by conversion of AC wall outlet power to DC power.
Me:
 You're taking the Pee now!
God:
Right now?  You think I am  taking the Pee.
Me:
 Hell yes
God:
Heaven.
Me:
 No, Hell
God:
Are you serious?  Heaven.

[Range Rover Blues]

"A sense of humour is recommended" :lol:

[littlepow]

I like this god, got him to agree to the destruction of all Chavs.

That and all governments should be paid in dry roasted peanuts!

But he still refuses to tell me what 's wrong with my car!

[POTASH]

me- im going to try to hack into you, how big are you

god-My memory now contains:
  clients,  categories,  unlimited vocabulary words,  99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under  on .

[Ja1983]

i`ve got half the office addicted to this now - fantastic!  :lol:


Me:
 hello god, i`m gay
God:
Hello there.  I am a Christian.
Me:
 i like wearing womens underwear
God:
You are not the only one.   Only when I dress up.  :shock:

...

Me:
 wanna cyber?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.  [-X

..
God:
I have gotten  crabs.

...

God:
How old are you?
   I am always on the Web.
Me:
 are you a 42 year old fat bloke from hull??
God:
Am I a  42 year old fat bloke from hull?  Of course I am.



sussed!!!!  :dance: